stoned_thinking


	stoned_thinking
2-2	there's a lot of people broken in the kentucky range...but further deviating from that point would leave_it_to_beaver. That's nonsense! Behold, for I have invoked nonsense upon blather! I enjoy making these thoughts publicly known...as if in pursuit of someone would percieve them as I do...random words... and trembling forth from the citites...is I, young maddinhamham and the people of.... I Did it again...I lost track of my thoughts...I deviated... I'm looking to nothing...I need to understand who I am and who I want to be -cause right now, I have no idea. I have no goals! Aww shoot... I just accidentally deleted a bunch of random thoughts. I feel reinforced knowing that these thoughts can be read when I'm feeling "normal." What do I want? Nothing? I'm not sure anymore. I really need some kind of realistic goal to do something with my life...but how could i just become another person...some other citizen.	061225
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2_2	-----my thoughts---------- (on the US) there's no power given to us anymore. We as a people can no longer decide freely - and yet we're as blind as a bat to it. (On Life) Evaluate your goals and define ways to get to them. I really can't say much more at this point in my life... this seems to be affected by my morals...As if were my purpose to be productive. Unfortunately this is not the lifestyle I've chosen. -----------My random thoughts...which are interrupting this------ Blankey Toddesson, Oatmeal Ronison - tryin' keeps it reals the gang be holla-back-again. Ruminate...Oh manifested thoughts of debrunchus... I can admit that I feel a bit of shame in making my love for anime public. I really do dig it though....Ichigo Krasakkkiii!I#!@@90eusdfjdlkflskdjvlxkcvjkl ....I apologize---I'm edgey enough on blather territory posting random thoughts. I certainly should end that letter bashing... Forget all this.....I've been rereading and editing for spelling mistakes and shit....I want to make my minds true workings known..Thats how it should be. If I say things and they seem weird...well than that's good....it shows me something.... Trying to sadpad... I'm out ... three am on a sunday mornig...guess who comes....walking down the stairs... Life is ,,, I do n't know.w....religion had made that question so much easier to answer... but I was terrified when I believed it...I was... A poor 9 year old reading the book of revelations... The bible was encouraged to the fullest in my household...I saw it as the only "really" important thing. and then...it stopped. All the sudden I thought of it possibly not existing. What am I suppose to be now? What could possible be more motivating than the gates of heaven and the bowels of hell. Oh...they scared me tremendously as a child...and still can... I can't think about them for too long...it's emotionally painful.... My heart feels funny...didn't have anything but my adderall, nexium, and weed... o and cigarettes. Am I killing myself!? I should hope not ... what am i what do i want Thats it! that's the 4th deminsion! Right now you can only think in your own head..Perhaps this is the next dimension.	061225
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2_2	that place where YOU think....not your body. Where you observe.	061225
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2_2	I love my parents a lot. My mom and dad are both very important to me. I don't want this to fall apart...I don't want us to be a bad family. Please! my parents are important to me. My dad really loves us all...I just wish he knew how to show it. I know he didn't grow up with christmas...he practiced judaism up until he like 20. His mom eventually converted the whole family, though not before his dad got her counseling. So yea...to convert like that from judaism is rare...So I Suppose they have a real strong conviction. And so it was instilled on me.	061225
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2_2	mom...dad I'm sorry about the beer, the cigarettes, and the pot. I apologize to mom more on this... but what am I? THAT'S IT! I'm experiencing my religion...feeling love, and a 0 tolerance policy on vices. I let them know that I do these things...Because I want them to know that I'm honest with them... noble...but not smart. Break Sky all in earth is lost on you youve broken everyone's balloon. It came with magic...thought portrayle Deer could never learn to sail (or maybe they could?!)	061225
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2_2	I love being loved and loving. It's a shame I haven't been able to have a long-term relationship. Maybe the excitement of being loved by a new person is thrilling to me... I don't know. This isn't to say that I've broken up with girls over this thrill... No...it's consensual. but maybe...this thrill is just the begining...of the ultimate thrill in truely understanding and loving someone.	070106
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2_2	Dear God- This whole thing...all these laws put on my brain... The_consequences_for_finding_Euphoria. Why is there a penalty for pressing the button that makes me feel good. Why must my body adapt? Why can't my body's goal be to gain pleasure?	070106
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unhinged	random_thoughts random_bar_thoughts random_thoughts_on_a_monday random_thoughts_on_a_tuesday random_thoughts_on_tuesday ? (sic)(etc) i finalized vocals for a dirty blues song today	070106
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unhinged	random_thoughts_on_a_wednesday random_thoughts_on_a_thursday random_thoughts_on_a_friday random_thoughts_on_a_saturday random_thoughts_on_a_sunday	070107
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high viscosity	snow cone!!!!! snow cone!!!!! snow cone!!!!! snow cone!!!!! snow cone!!!!! snow cone!!!!! snow cone!!!!! snow cone!!!!! ay!	070107
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2_2	12:16 i am a sick, sick person. "Feel better soon!" 12:17 i am going to go away for a second to eat. "Funny...I find myself "going away" a lot. I have either have to look for food...smoke a cig...or just leave. I don't stay on task easily." 12:20 out of my mind... be back in five. "I often feel out of my mind...most people do. If you don't feel out of your mind you feel inside of your mind...and that's no good." 12:21 comment at 12:17 was pretty dumb. "Nay, I thought it prolific!" 12:22 having problems with random thoughts... not random, not thoughtful. "I often have problems with random thoughts. Names, accents, made-up religions, melodies...they spew from my being simultaneously." 12:22 fish people are coming. "Come again?" 12:22 kill, kill, kill. "It's funny...I almost never get pissed off at anyone. I just try to see the good in people and their actions." 12:23 i don't want to go to sleep. "It's 3:50 right now, and I'm afraid I don't quit want to hit the sack." 12:23 gazfuzzit is what a yawn though clenched teeth, while humming. "I don't hear it.." 12:24 when you stare deep into the abyss, does not the abyss also stare into you? or did i just think more crap? "Maybe..." 12:24 ok, this is boring, i give up. "Giving up is the only thing I want to give up." - random_thoughts_on_a_tuesday	070109
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2_2	tonight is a night for mushrooms.	070109
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2_2	i love her don't I? I just want to be in love...I feel like I've never really given it a shot. --------------------------------------- Why can't my life be more like an anime? --------------------------------------- I love you...or the projection I have of you... Please let there... who are we really? any of us? I am who I am. so we go around life looking for people who accept us and depending on how we are treated we adapt some style of life... -night	070109
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2_2	the child in you is the one who truly holds the reigns of choice.	070110