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ClairE
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1. I am the only person I know who eats sweet pepper like an apple.
2. I have been thinking about sex since I was twelve years old.
3. I can't ride a bike, but only because I haven't found anyone big enough to hold me up while I learn.
4. Because it is May, I think I will plunge myself into green and blue, and dream about trees. Because this weekend I went to get ice cream and found a boy in bright rainy storm-strewn Sunday in May. Only at his eyes; his arms promise more.
5. Let's celebrate, because we are still alive. Because I am beautiful and you are beautiful. Because sometimes we eat seeds and spit out the shells. Because I can touch someone's face and at that sparked moment, my heart expands, the entire force of life lifting me, expanding through me totally. As though I will never die. And because I have lots of alcohol on top of my fridge and friends to drink it with, on June 3.
6. I love my grandmother, but I really wish she hadn't called me fat.
7. We are not men, to paraphrase, quote & misquote: we are deviant.
8. I want it more than anything in the world because, as I'd told you, "I take everything so seriously, and will my feelings towards joy". Oh, God, more than anything. I can't stop believing that if I try enough, I will know why. I will know how far and deep, untold scores of names, sentences that have never been uttered, the exact location. I will eat from the tree, and my eyes will open.
9. The thought of you makes me sweat. I can still feel you under my hands, my body's so old without you, from knowing you. A weeping, a gnashing of teeth. A rending of clothes. It takes a long time, but anyone can know it. So long on the bed, demanding. Beating my thighs. I think I always knew. I always always always always knew. I think it remains because you can still hear me calling. Once you put your mouth to my breast, you heard me(1). And will always.
(1)we had been/married by our bodies
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