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letter_to_you
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Bespeckled
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Hi,
I was drafting a letter to you in my mind the other night, and I told myself that I wouldn't forget it. Yet, in bed hours later, as I felt sleep creeping over me from within, I found myself remembering that letter, but I couldn't remember the specifics of it. I only thought, in my dreamy state, "Oh, I need to write that letter to ___."
But tonight is another night, and once again, I'm going to bed, too tired to recreate the letter I once drafted and stored in my mind.
So I'm saving this spot to write a letter to you.
Hopefully you'll get it before your Christmas present (not that it matters).
(And not that you'll even read this :)
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031213
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hehe
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dammit, i've been standing beside my mailbox for friggin months now...i'm going back inside.
.
(couldn't resist, sorry)
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031214
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whitechocolatewalrus
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i wrote a letter to you, but i deleted it. you wouldn't have read it anyway.
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031214
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jane
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letter_to_sean
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031214
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Bespeckled
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Alright, I've finally decided to begin this.
Firstly ...
I think a part of me is in love with you. Yes, of course it's impossible, and juvenile, and even more impossible. You were number one on my list of wants - why not two or three?
I suppose you were 1 because I thought of you first, because even though you're never really in the forefront of my mind, raging like fire in my eyes, you are ALWAYS in the back, (simmering?) a little consideration I twist lightly with my head like tonging a scratch thoughtfully on the inside of your mouth - neither good nor bad, just "if" or "hmmm."
The certain part of me that loves you? It could be attributed to the mystery, to the words, to the unknowness of the not yet known.
It could still disappear.
It could still grow stronger.
Perhaps drafting this in words has only made the unreality more real ... and more craved.
...
More later.
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031216
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silentlybroken
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Why do I draft letters to you in my head? Not just a few sentances, full and complete letters that flow. Therein I can be honest without the pain of hurting you, I don't think the truth would make you cry but I'm not prepared to take that risk. Not now. I still see those we always believed we would outlast, together. I wish you could see what I see with all the clarity that now pervades my heartbroken perceptions. We_could_be_wonderful_together and to do this, my angel, you need only do one thing: See_the_truth.
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031217
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pink
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I wrote a letter_to_you once. It was long and meandering and painful, and I cried while writing it.. (soundtrack: Losing My Religion)
"oh no i've said too much..."
I almost sent it... but didn't.
If I had, everything would have changed... nothing did.
"consider this the slip that brought me to my knees"
I've since lost the letter, and it became ok again, sort of. I got over you, sort of. Friends.
love you, miss you, see you tomorrow
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060520
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pobodys_nerfect
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I've been trying to write a letter_to_you in my head for days, but then i mentally crumple it up and begin again. This won't be elegant (i've never been good at putting my thoughts together in a pretty way like some can),but i'd rather tell you how i feel in a not so pretty way than risk you thinking i don't care at all. I met you just shy of mid-November, but i've been wanting to meet you since December, and that's why it hurts so much that i won't get to see you on my birthday. I wanted to go SO badly,but i had to make a very difficult choice--you, or a very ill furry boy i was worried might not live for long. It honestly broke my heart clicking the page shut and not getting a ticket, but F needed me in that moment and after 14 yrs i couldn't turn my back on him. :( I don't take for granted that you chose that specific day either. I know you know it's my birthday. It also would've been the first birthday in 10 YEARS where i was guaranteed a truly happy one, because it meant a chance to meet you. No matter how happy i seem, i can assure you that every time someone mentions that evening, it hurts. I have cried tears over this.
So now that you know how i'm feeling, will you give me another chance? I really hope you will. 3
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220617
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pobodys_nerfect
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**sneaks back in to mention that the "3" at the end was supposed to be a heart shape (i typed a v thingy with it but it didn't show up)** :")
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220617
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