blather
unraveled
unhinged she's come undone 070606
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unhinged it didn't take long for our relationship to come unraveled. for me, it was the beginning of it nine months ago that was our undoing. there is no affection between us. there is barely an interest besides fucking between us. also, i have a habit of freaking after about a month. but being_perfectly_honest i don't feel much. you are nice. but i can't help but compare you to him. and that was my attraction, intense like some kind of magnet, to him; he had much affection i.e. love for me. and even though my feelings for him are completely impractical they are the kind of feelings i prefer. intense, consuming, with a bit of purity and modesty. he grabbed my hand often. he kissed me often. you have made me feel like not much better than a hole. it's just the nature of how we met i suppose. that our relationship wasn't meant to be more than a physical one. but that doesn't leave much to sustain it. *sigh* 070716
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Ouroboros my heart hurts. my professor/teacher/mentor/colearner died. it's hard to explain what my class was like my final year at evergreen, but we all shared our Selves and none of us came out unchanged. she influenced me deeply. deeply. empty space, movement, witnessing, butoh, follow your heart, trust your body, do not turn your back on the world, if you commit to something to it fully, nonlinear thinking, meditation, archtypes, dreams, create art, keep writing. oh doranne, you will be missed 070716
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