excuse_me_that's_my_stapler
birdmad
the
average
day
has
certain
traits
in
common
with
a
spirited
game
of
leapfrog
played
with
a
unicorn
, uf
you
know
what
i
mean
030817
...
bird
IF
you
know
what
i
mean
030817
...
nomme
my_pen
030817
...
blah-ze
no
,
i
saw
the
stapler
first
*empties
load
of
staples
in
direction
of
nomme
and
birdmad
*
030817
...
pin the brain on the birdmad
the
confluence
of
boredom
or
stress
and
despair
has
seen
me
drive
the
occasional
staple
into
my
own
forehead
,
not
unlike
the
Darwin
Award
candidate
who
shot
himself
through
one
shoulder
to
find
out
how
much
it
would
hurt
and
then
had
his
brother
shoot
him
through
the
other
to
see
if
that
one
would
hurt
as
bad
yeah
,
sometimes
i
have
one
of
those
"
what
the
fuck
"
moments
if
i
could
reconfigure
the
heavy
duty
staplers
in
the
office
,
i
would
try
the
3
/8"
or
1
/2"
staples
just
for
the
sake
of
the
comparison
against
the
standard
staples
my
first
guess
is
"hairline
fracture
"
030817
...
x
when
i
woke
up
i
touched
my
hand
to
my
forehead
and
came
away
with
blood
crust
on
my
fingers
i
still
haven't
figured
it
out
030817
...
trixie
I've
had
an
office
space
moment
before
,
when
you
just
lay
in
bed
all
day
with
the
"
what
me
worry
"
attitude
.
It's
great
.
I'm
going
to
go
into
that
mode
now
until
the
end
of
the
week
.
See
you
on
the
other
side
.
PS
has
anyone
else
seen
that
Kids
In
The
Hall
where
the
guy
is
like
"
my
pen
!"
Funny
stuff
.
030818
...
jane
no
but
i
saw
the
kids
in
the
hall
where
the
guy
was
like
, "
my
drum
!
i've
lost
my
indian
drum
!"
030821
...
nomme
my_pen
"
i
just
don't
like
pickles
"
030821
...
nomme
*
picking
staples
out
of
her
hair
remembering
the
time
she
stapled
her
thumb
to
a
wall
when
she
was
eight
*
030821
...
sab
my
stapler
is
bright
red
and
stacked
with
coper
staples
but
doesnt
fire
them
across
the
room
like
i
think
it
ought
to
pow
pow
pow
it
should
go
and
send
those
copper
staples
flying
embedding
them
into
the
far
away
wall
along
with
anything
in
their
way
instead
,
they
fall
limply
from
the
mouth
of
the
machine
like
drool
from
a
drunkard
passed
out
in
the
street
050606
...
methinx
She
took
my
stapler
from
me
,
right
as
I
was
about
to
turn
in
my
English
final
.
She
unloaded
the
entire
clip
into
my
hair
and
didn't
remember
doing
it
two
minutes
later
.
Neither
of
us
had
slept
in
days
.
I
loved
her
.
050829
...
jane
tell_me_something_i_don't_know
050831
