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getting_fat
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oak barrel
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no... you're not...
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021003
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devalis
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it scares me to think that you may have seen me recently enough to know whether I'm getting_fat or not. which I am, by the way.
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021003
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endless desire
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unfortunate but true
this saddens me because i was beginning to really enjoy eating freely
i will indulge a few more days
before cutting it off.
maybe i should not.
i am so weak, i feel like i always give in.
(punishment)
i just want to hop on the dreaded scale and see the pounds shedding like they were a few weeks back when i could tough this out. this is what i want, i promise.
i am riding a rollercoaster of flooding emotions. someone stop the ride. i am beginning to feel sick.
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030706
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Sparticus
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just because i am here
does not mean i am gone
i am here
love
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030707
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three words
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losing_weight getting_fat pfash
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061004
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Ouroboros
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i dont care about counting calories anymore- about fasting and binging and comparing my forever imperfect body to the ideal in my mind- those are activities of the past. But, i havent been exercising, havent been eating rightand ive gained back all the weight i lost riding around the playa- and i feel shitty- heavy- it's health, not societial manipulation. Getting fat doesn't feel good
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061005
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Ouroboros
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mmmmm coconut
mmmmm sweet black sticky rice
mmmmm mmmmmm mmmmm
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061207
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the incredible shrinking birdmad
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i know what you mean, any of the times i've been over a ceratin weight threshhold , i could FEEL it, i was constantly aware of the excess i was carrying around and it felt uncomfortable and kind of gross.
luckily, 5thanks to a few perversely fortunate inconveniences I've lost just over 70 pounds since New Year's and i'm lighter than i've been since just after i graduated from high-school.
conversely, i find it kind of freaky now to realize that i am over 100 pounds lighter than i was when i was regularly taking jobs as a bouncer
(i once topped out at 332 lbs - fat around the belly and overly musclebound at the shoulders, neck, upper back and thighs)
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061207
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.
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getting..........??
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061208
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birdmad the large
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i weigh 226 now as opposed 332 and i look all sorts of weird and ungainly if i get below 200
so other than actual tone and condition issues, i am only about ten pounds over what i used to call my "prime fighting weight" for being 6'2"
so yes, i have been grossly fat before, O inquisitive, if spineless dot person and i won't rule out the possibility that it could happen again knowing the ways in which my appetite works, but i can just lose it again.
you, meanwhile, will remain a sac-less wonder
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061208
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Ouroboros
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but now ive got a yoga mat
(change_is_coming)
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070121
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stork daddy
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i miss being lean, i miss fighting. now i'm fat and sedentary - but soon i'll have a mahogany desk. so that's a pretty fair tradeoff right? right?
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070122
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sameolme
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Still life of bologna sandwich on mahogony
desk leapt to mind.
It's on white bread of course.
Yellow mustard is oozing.
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070122
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Ouroboros
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right
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070122
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nom
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me, since conception
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070123
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nom
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me, since before birth
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070123
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nom
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ok i'll go with my second blathe
no, my first. no, i can't decide
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070123
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nom
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basically all my life
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070123
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thorn
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pretty much all the time.
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070123
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Ouroboros
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I feel like my body is encased in heavy dough
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070423
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Ouroboros
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ghah. I thought my scale was broken ("I don't weigh that") so I tried out the one at my mother's. 10 lbs in 5 months. Not good.
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090505
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unhinged
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'be careful girl. you'll get a beer gut like everyone else around here'
and sometimes i think it is a subconscious defense to keep unwanted eyes off me
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090505
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jane
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(i know what you're saying... self_insulation )
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090505
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unhinged
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or my sunglasses are; i am glad big sunglasses came back in fashion. i wear them even when it isn't sunny. i hide behind them. (but, people tend to stare a little when you wear sunglasses when it isn't sunny)
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090506
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daxle
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She's building layers of fat to keep her insulated out in this cruel world.
I, on the other hand, have gained 22 lbs, but more aptly described as "awkward" than as "fat".
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091104
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Ouroboros
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Protection from other people's weirdness- extra fat with layers of clothing- I think that's why I like the cold (and didn't fare well in LA), because I get to wear all the clothes I can- buffering.
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091104
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birdmad just barely avoiding having "chicken legs"
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i really miss my ass...the seats on the bus are ridiculously hard and uncomfortable without that layer of ass-fat to cushion me
my weight finally bottomed out at 182 pounds, which is 116 pounds down from where i started at the beginning of 2006, so yeah, i'm looking a little weird
i actually need to gain back about 20 pounds of muscle now
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091105
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K@T in the H@T
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how stupid would
a skinny albert be?
"thin" is not
another word
for cool
but "phat"
is
think of that
next time you laugh
at those
too-tight shorts
& wonder why
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091105
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