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Ouroboros
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I had smoked a joint at her house, and although it was late for a Tuesday night, and although it was raining, the thought of sleeping in my own bed was enticing enough for me to get it together and walk through dirty San Francisco streets to catch the BART train, which left as I was arriving, so like a scene in a Wes Anderson film, I stood still with the headphones pumping the beats into my ears and everyone walked by in rhythm, with the florescent lights and the stale air of urine and machinery, blinking red eyed until the train arrived and I sat with the music moving me now through tunnels under the bay and the girl passed out prone on her seat dropped her umbrella on the ground. My eyes open and shut and I drifted into dreamspace, until I switched trains and continued riding, hoping that no one would look at me and that the man behind me wouldn't touch me and then I remembered how thc makes me paranoid, and I got off and walked up into Berkeley with my headphones tucked safely away, and my coat buttoned up and the wind whipping my umbrella inside and out as I marched up the deserted streets all dark and quiet, except for the windchimes protesting loudly and the lonely porch lights showing me the way as I chanted and pushed away the paranoia until there was only my body moving through space, heated up with the exertion, and my heart beating, and the rain falling on my face and I removed my hood and let it fall all over me and gave myself to feel free at the exhiliration of walking alone in a storm up to my home where I live alone, and I felt that sense of wonder and amazement at being alive that I have felt while traveling or at Burning Man or with a new love, and I felt it by myself, in my boring daily 9-5 life, I nurtured and expressed that feeling of aliveness, which carried me the two miles up the hill to my cabin down from the street, where I stripped off my soaked clothes to place by the heater and showered for the first time in days and let sleep come over me with amethyst and quartz beside my pillow and the rain falling through the trees onto my roof
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