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jane
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i wanted to give you words that would get caught on your lip, but you saw the trick right through me and i didn't have any left. why can't you be like matt? why can't you just be a nice boy and play with my hair and rub my feet? and not in a condescending foot massage type way, just an "i'm thinking about you" kind of way. and if you only knew that i slept in matt's bed last night but we were drunk and he wouldn't do anything more than make out because it had been too long. i liked kissing him but kissing him just made me miss kissing you. i told you that you were my favorite kisser but even these days you cut them short so you can go to sleep. don't you see that i can't handle it anymore? everytime i wake you up in the middle of the night for sex you turn over and dream. and then when you ask me of course i'm willing. i went for the bait and now i'm hooked and asphyxiating on oxygen. i miss someone appreciating the fact that i was there, that i was someone to put your arm around. you seem indifferent to my being there and yet you wanted me to come over so badly. but i'm not going to come over anymore because you make me feel unwanted. it's not your fault, really..i understand you're tired. but we haven't had sex in a long time [for us]. so i'm kind of moving on.
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030613
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