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qui
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yeah. my stomach feels kinda strange. bad strange. but im also feeling depressed. as usual. man, i need to find something better to talk about. gah, i would go to bed but i really dont want to sleep, and besides, i need my music. fucking hell, i so need a cd burner. i decided that thinking too much about people on blather isnt particularly good for you. i cant explain exactly what i mean, so im not even gonna try. i cant put it in words, its just a feeling i got when i was going through a certain someones posts today. man, what is it about going to bed early. it screws me. i really want to go to bed now, but i know if i do, im gonna end up feeling like shit in the morning.so even though im tired, its easier to just sit here let my thoughts flow. am i just young and inexperienced, but why does everyone on blather seem to be in love with someone they cant have? im serious, one night, all the posts i read just seemed to be about people wanting someone they cant have. oh well. at least...man, i dont know. im just commenting on useless stuff. damn computer, giving me a headache. =( what they need on blather, is an index of all the topics which have been blathed about. then when i want to see if anyone has read/responded to something ive posted, i dont have to either blathe on that topic again, or look for a person whose blathed there and go through that. or is there already something like that which im just missing? what are the diary pages? its probably none of my business anyway. theres this guy i met on chat. and he was cool, and we used to email each other alot. but i was kinda being. i dunno, i would put it as really britney. i dunno, i just acted like a fool, and so he after a while, i think he was just like, wtf? and stopped emailing. ofcourse, a couple of months later, i look back, and im like 'dude, he was so cool. why the hell was i such a moron' so i emailed him the other day. and he replied, and was cool and all. that was nice, but me being me, i have to start reading too much shit into it. i dunno, maybe im being paranoid, but i jsut got this vibe. and its like, that 'connection' kinda thing we had is gone. and that pisses me off, cause he was/still is cool. same thing happened with another guy i talk to on chat. but that was just fucked. he just acts like, really wierd sometimes now. and somedays, hes all normal. how it was before, other times im just like''???'' but whatever. more useless blathes. haha, i spent the whole day(after school that is) on blather today. ive become such an addict. but its good for me. i get to talk. and it encourages me to think more. but to be honest, i cant be bothered to read all the really 'deep' posts. i mean, i can sometimes, but if im in a normal mood, and someone is talking about society or something - im just like, fuck it. im sure ill come back to it someday. man, this has become an extremely long and uselss blather. i still need an email adress for blather.
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021217
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