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stork daddy
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put simply, i was tired of thinking. tired mainly, of the small and, as we go on, expanding redundancies of consciousness. so i set about erasing it - doing all of the things the bibles exhort us against because they are destructive, and literature exhorts us against, because they are numbing. i was more interested in literature's take. so in many a day that might has well have been all one day - dark bar, corner stool - smoky air ours and not ours, and tell me about the son who hates you old man - with the raising - our first same old same old and then slower hands - towards incoherence and so understanding. into a strip club then, private show, whip out my dick so she knows i'm not a cop, no one wants to take chances, if they don't have to. cheerful and i can forget, in the warmth of her face becoming my selfish feeling waxing waning swallowing star, how impatient she is for my money to limply fold into her wallet, to stop struggling, be beat dead, so the money can go to the sterile wallet. and a casino. the endless hot drives to it, while my family and wife sleep. one of these days cornflower butterflies rose from the fields like flapping ash and one splashed yellow across my windshield. just the law of large numbers, perhaps. not good, not bad, both nor neither. just bright yellow. and that day i becamse what i courted. offer yourself up enough, large numbers, and you will be hit with the momentum of some drive. smeared across it, your insides just bright yellow to someone else lucky or unlucky to not be you. lashed to the mast, you're carried here and there. at the casino that day i won seven-hundred thousand dollars - and by some grace, it all felt like it wasn't happening to me.
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060721
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