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fullness_and_emptiness
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somebody
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As a child, there was fullness in all things. Every corner, every piece of lint, every drop of dew was overflowing with meaning, with wonderful spiritual significance, with the rhythm of eternal benefaction. I believe this to be the truer state of things.
As an adult, however, I have fallen. Too much skepticism has poisoned me. More and more emptiness abounds, even what seems as though it ought be grand: human relations, splendorous goods, pleasurable sensations... even the "simple pleasures" have begun to fall flat.
Ah well... I'll keep trying. Maybe it is but a phase through which I am passing. Certainly, I trust the spiritual insights I had as a child, even if I cannot reproduce them today.
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071018
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Som
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The warmth, the embrace, the smell of you on me and everything in-between. I felt you, crashing down like waves on warm pebbled beach. But in that same moment of fullness and embrace, I knew too the all-too-imminent truth. You were going away, receding, and leaving my shores for the one you could not deny. Bits and pieces of mental driftwood, a memento to our moment would be all that remained. And in the emptiness, the cold darkness, when I would stare up at the dark spaces and see her - I knew. I knew that the story was old, and the same as ages upon ages ago. There is nothing new under the sun, no, not even this.
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121107
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thy
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this_got_me
right_in_the_feels
...very_lately
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121125
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epitome of incomprehensibility
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I think a healthy dose of skepticism is fine - it's the lack of curiosity that's a problem. Sometimes it worries me that I'm less "interested in things" than I used to be, and many things are worth being interested in.
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121126
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Aklilu Gebrewold
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The main character is what I call “the mind”. Its mastery, its capacity to represent. Throughout history, attempts have been made to contain those experiences which happen at the end of the limit where the mind is vulnerable. But I think we are in a very significant moment in history. Those moments, those what you might call liminal, limit, frontier, edge zone experiences are actually now becoming the norm. These multiplicities and distinctions and differences that have given great difficulty to the old mind are actually through entering into their very essence, tasting and feeling their uniqueness. One might make a breakthrough to that common something that holds them together.
And so the main character is, to this new mind, greater, greater mind. A mind that yet is to be. And when we are obviously entered into that mode, you can see a radical subjectivity, radical attunement to individuality, uniqueness to that which the mind is, opens itself to a vast objectivity. So the story is the story of the cosmos now. The moment is not just a passing empty nothing, yet – and this is the way in which these secret passages happen – yes, it’s empty with such fullness that the great moment, the great life of the universe, is pulsating in it. And each one, each object, each place, each act leaves a mark. And that story is singular. But, in fact, it’s story after story.
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121204
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Ouroboros
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waking_life
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121204
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:)
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exactly.
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121205
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tail-devouring snake
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there was a time, for a long time,
where i woke up each day with a spring in my step, when no matter what was happening in me or around me, i entered my life with an enthusiasm and naivete i can only call youth.
now, i have gratitude for my life, for each breath, for all the moments that have shaped me. i don't always enjoy this life, longing for the freedom of being one with my god out of this body, but i always come back around to the preciousness and sacredness of my human life.
but although i step out into my garden and look around at the morning with joy, and i see miracles happen in my life every day, every day, that exuberance, that innocence, that zest that filled my bones before, even if i didn't know it or understand it. that fullness is gone.
i don't know what happened to it. i assume i won't get it back: being happy while holding the truth of emptiness, of pain, of betrayals of body and mind, is what is left. the insides of my bones feel empty, like lead. my love says to me, 'you look more serious now' when i ask him how i compare to a photo of myself taken 11 years ago.
i don't want to go back to who i was. i love who i am now. but it's as if i've just looked up and noticed that a vital piece of me has been bled out slowly for years. my zest, my shininess, my fullness.
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140824
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flowerok
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priorities. insincere_priorities
prioritize life and your experience in it. even if what we aredoing is not exciting we can make it so. though I feelike I need aome outside helps doing that lately too. it's there, we don t have to die while we're still alive.
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140824
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flowerock
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when I cannot find that fullness in myself or around me, It is usually in times of poor health, bodily, emotionally, spiritually, and/or mentally. When I am stressed or distracted by "adult life" by responsibilities, money, schedules, chores and choices... I get over focused and overwhelmed and lose sight of real life and of the little things, like birds getting turned around i the wind, squirells missin their branch and barely catching the next one, flowers opening, the sound if the coffee pot, or the wagging tail if my dog... the_wisdom_of_children. We need time even just a few minutes o breathe and let go of our working adult minds. lay in the grass until it clears, bike lieurely(or fastly) until you forget your using your legs. enjoy the moment until you cannot identify individual moments. that s where the fullness is I think. between the moments it holds them together.
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140824
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