|
| |
to_my_friend_doar
|
|
|
daf
|
Look brother,
We've talked before, and I've not just hinted but blatantly ASKED you to contact me.
Now your right to do whatever the fuck you feel, is assured at least as far as I'm concerned..but before you sink too deeply into the quicksand of depression, don't you think it might be worth checking out the two lifeboats and a helicopter that the universe is sending your way? Some of us love you without having ever met you. Don't you know?
After 12 blessed and godforsaken years here..I hope at least YOU have figured out that we're here because of the energy behind the words..not the words.
That energy is you. It's me. And its all of us. Pure in some ways. Tainted by our conditioning in others. But we are safe here to be as close to ourselves as we dare be.
Some of us obfuscate our true natures with humor, absurdity and abrasive behavior. Aloofness, pretension and posturing are meant to confuse too. But those of us who have stopped listening to the words and started asking ourselves "Why those words?" are not fooled by any of this defensive, camouflage bullshit.
You are a good person whose energy shines through your words. I've never met you, but want to..and I have a funny feeling that such a meeting would be beneficial for us both in ways that aren't and might never be apparent.
But once it's realized that you aren't but what you do with your energy, it must also be realized that you can have friends here that are every bit as real, trustworthy and loyal as any that you have in the flesh.
So here I am, your friend, asking you to send me an email so we can get in contact and speed up the energy exchange between friends. Stop speed bumps from looming like mountain ranges.
P.S. The original title of this was "doar_be_a_friend_or_fuck_off" but I calmed myself down and besides..I'd hate for u to choose to fuck off.
|
130526
|
| |
... |
|
|
Death of a Rose
|
it might have been better
for you or me
to just keep with your original
thought(s).
because
by the same moments
that it took to read....
fuck
all i have ever done
my friend....and yes i know you are my friend..
was hurt people
.
i don't know even any more
how not to hurt
you
or anyone
else.
i do wish you and this sad state of a man
could meet
but at the moment
i'm having trouble with my mind
and shaking heart
shaking fingers
i am a monster
daf
because of this
because of depression
because of me
.
|
130526
|
| |
... |
|
|
.
|
here
4
0
3
4
7
8
9
6
6
8
|
130526
|
| |
... |
|
|
daf
|
But who is a monster bro? You say YOU are a monster. That's simply not possible. You are me. And while I am a bit unsavory around the edges..I'm most certainly not a monster. And neither are you. Some people believe they are monsters and it opens the door to them doing monstrous things. Better not to believe that you are a monster in the first place.
You are just a person who has been raised in a worldwide madhouse. It's hard not to become dysfunctional when you are taught and influenced by lunatics. Lunatics have no idea they are crazy, and when there are enough of them, they can convince you that YOU are the crazy one through sheer consensus. This one of a few reason why consensual reality doesn't appeal to me all that much. I've got enough experience with my perceptions and those of others to realize that just because we agree on something doesn't make it correct.
This world will try to pound you into the ground..that's its job. It's trying to produce strong organisms..not coddled ones. You are a strong organism, my friend. You're strong enough to think about something else until the feelings subside.
You have my email. I'll check it in the morning.
|
130526
|
| |
... |
|
|
dafremen
|
P.S. You're going to have to TRY REALLY, REALLY hard to hurt me. I was married to a bipolar lunatic for 18 years.
|
130526
|
| |
... |
|
|
Death of a Rose
|
i've already mailed you brah.
i look forward to talking with you.
i guess all of you are saying to me to go to sleep fucker
but just for one night
not the past two days
i haven't been
.
|
130526
|
| |
... |
|
|
.
|
THANK YOU
|
130526
|
| |
... |
|
|
daf
|
You've got MAIL.
|
130526
|
| |
... |
|
|
Death of a Rose
|
dude
i wasn't trying to hurt you
just me
but you know that already
i am self destructive
but i do like watching the dead roses die.
.
|
130526
|
| |
... |
|
|
Doar
|
sigh
|
240605
|
| |
... |
|
|
dafremen
|
Yep. Sorry I lost my shit during the lock downs. I trusted absolutely no one. Everything I said is still true. I'm just not a very good friend sometimes.
Ask Nicole.
|
240606
|
| |
... |
|
|
Doar
|
Well Daf, you know what.
With temperance and time...maybe a little wisdom...
I've been a fucking deutsch bag towards so many people in my addiction, I have realized the harm and destruction that I have caused for so many fucking years.
Have to go into treatment...at 55....
Told my sister, what a waste of (ie) my life.
She came back with the perfect retort,
Maybe its a new beginning. I sincerely hope so.
How is your Music going ya Hippy/Opinionated/Not afraid to back down/Dense mothertrucker?
.
|
240612
|
