what_has_been
phil
Me
has
Screaming
a
sinking
,
in
the
sand
, "gratification (
where
the
common
man
!
Building
his
dam
.
out
of
mud
). Bricks
and
sand
with
a
sudden
hand
...
Went
dumb
:
forgot
""
done
;
forgot
""
said
!
Simple
plans
{
in
his
head
?
They
}
aren't
reviving -
never
stop
trying
",
etc
.
050425
...
once again
Yea
verily
they
have
come
and
gone
as
leaves
and
springtime
flowers
,
blooming
when
you
had
despaired
of
their
coming
ever
again
and
fading
when
you
had
fallen
for
their
soft
petals
and
cool
green
shade
.
And
unto
them
you
decry
the
terrors
of
the
past
hoping
against
all
reason
that
they
will
see
fit
not
to
burden
you
with
these
tiny
excruciating
deaths
.
And
there
were
lovers
calm
and
steady
to
whom
I
wept
and
stood
nude
against
the
sky
in
laughing
contempt
of
their
routine
.
And
there
were
lovers
I
was
cruel
and
dangerous
with
, weilding
my
tongue
as
a
lash
and
my
body
as
a
rack
to
be
stretched
upon
.
I
have
been
indifferent
and
matter
of
fact
.
I
have
lost
the
memories
of
their
passions
as
easily
as
though
they
had
never
been
.
I
have
not
forgotten
myself
.
I
recall
the
lovers
I
feared
.
The
moments
I
was
unsure
in
my
power
.
I
recall
dizzy
drunken
moments
of
frantic
lips
and
arms
and
tongues
.
The
gentle
gasps
and
the
sighing
crys
and
the
screams
in
the
dark
and
the
chanting
of
names
as
offering
and
sacrifice
to
some
nameless
god
.
And
all
this
has
come
before
and
yet
cannot
describe
what
I
face
now
.
How
is
it
that
what
has
been
has
failed
to
prepare
me
for
what
is
?
Could
I
have
been
so
foolish
to
believe
myself
invincible
.
So
contemptible
to
fear
what
I
did
not
know
.
Could
I
have
endured
all
that
has
come
and
gone
,
like
the
dying
of
the
leaves
and
springtime
flowers
,
and
still
feel
awe
at
the
flash
of
lightening
on
my
naked
skin
?
I
am
struck
by
the
immeadiacy
of
you
.
050425
...
You
Feesher's Concordance
of
Chilton's
Auto
Repair
Manual
060628
...
egger
trapped
in
amber
i
still
hear
its
heart
060628
