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pete
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i lay in bed reading, dazed with the pages flipping. everything was comfortable with the exception of an akward shape taking form beside me under the covers. it spoke in a recognizable voice that morphed more feminine and distinguishable with each word, holding its highest form with her laugh. out of the corner of my eye i saw her dressed. her clothes were neither descript nor nondescript but certaintly they existed upon her body. her body, far from being hidden by the clothing was defined by it. muscles, sinew, skin, and fat mixed in a seductive ensemble that was both definable and shifting. she smiled and shifting against my body. her warmth spilled through our clothes, mingling at my skin to delve deeply, uncomfortably, into my soul. the smile turned to a grin "i'm going to bed now" she said, vanishing under the covers. her hand gripped onto my penis as my spirit recoiled in horror. trapped within my body, a cruel reversal of the body-embraced-by-soul that is waking life, I couldn't move or yell out or tell her to stop. she slowly kissed around my thighs as i tried, in vain as the body wouldn't respond, to squirm away. her kisses began to home in, warmly taking one testicle into her mouth. my thought, in horror, was that the woman in my dreams was not the woman of my dreams and my astral body was enjoying every minute of her pleasuring to the same extent that my permanent unmoving being wished that she was so deeply another and for escape. before i could climax waking life tore the dream-land facade away. answering the loud, piercing phone while my heart pumped blood into my unwillfully erect penis i said "hello" and wished for the dream to fade. it didnt. and it remained in my mind all day until i saw her, the one who performed the actions in my dream, in person. i briefly relived the horror of not being able to move and feeling extreme disgust in the very same instance as unwillfully feeling equally extreme pleasure. we talked and went up to the reception, where soon enough i left her with the historians and fled to the bar for a more philosophical and distant conversation.
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060922
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