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werewolf
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where'd you get that black eye skeeter?
i was fighting for your honor.
really?
yeah.
they didn't know it though. which was apparent in how righteous they seemed to feel beating the shit out of me.
. . .
i know i lie a lot...and i think it's cuz...well when you live in a trailer park...and everything you see on tv or the movies makes fun of it. but it's more than that. i try to hide my failures, but the problem is then i'll have no public success. and when i say public i mean as intimate as just me and you. i obsess over things. like i'll always picture those kids beating on me, and me feeling weak. and even if i were to be over another kid. i don't think it'd feel good if i saw him looking weak the way i did. don't get me wrong. that don't mean i want other folks to be happy. i just don't want to think i'm forcing it. i want to think it's a gift not a struggle.
. . .
know something skeeter?
folks seem to think so...
something specific...
guess not....
i love our secret. i know it's small beans in the grand scheme of things, but it's big to us. it's something all those people who would say it's small beans don't know...and don't have.
. . .
it's not so easy skeeter, i just want to forget my father, i want him to be gone beyond memory...but what would that mean? he's in my blood, my bones, to forget him would be to cease existing. i'd be hollow or something. sure a body can exist without memory, but can its rhythms? its shapes? something. i'm trying to say something.
. . .
i tell you mj, nothing i love more than racing down the open road with a good song blaring.
not even me?
honey, you know you're sweeter than pez out of a spiderman dispenser, but even you don't understand me like the gas pedal do, oh and opening up and makign the world match a song, i'm getting hot just thinking about it.
. . .
awww don't ask me that skeeter i don't know the reasons for you, i don't know why you work you just do, i'm amazed. like the wonder they talk with on tv sometimes or in movies. i understand. it's like christmas. maybe there's a story behind it, maybe someone had to suffer a long time ago in order for you to be so good. maybe if there's this silver lining, there's some darker cloud. but all i see is the presents. and i'd wait up every morning to kiss you.
that'd get old quick.
see and you're smart too. you don't jump at things, you make sure i mean them. and i've been waiting for a challenge like that.
yeah, we both think we're getting a deal that way.
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020819
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