blather
not_awake
squint crumples coughing as no more
smoke billows

cinnamon roll fever! says:
where are you?
to whom it may concern: says:
underwater
to whom it may concern: says:
I cant hear you

shatter the sparks which keep me awake
or the glow
that squeezes underneath
my eyelids to keep me
awake and tossing.

No evidence that anything is wrong
just trying to
keep from indulging in dreams
when my world
isn't real
and the people laugh at jokes I dont mean
and get hurt by the jokes I do mean.

disappointment in me
and halting words,
my shadow runs away
and i am naked in a spotlight

sweating nervous excuses
meaning what I say
and trying to make it sound that way.
wringing my hands
and looking for some fresh air
to dry myself out
hang myself

up

to dry

hide myself


down


to sigh.
021006
...
~gez~ im awake
though im still in a dream world
you know why?
im with you
021006