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Flo_we_rock
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I must have needed to cry, to feel abandoned and to miss you as if you'd been gone for years not hours. I easily could have found you if I had just asked around or called your name I am sure, I could have decided not to cry knowing that you were near by in the same house... Instead I stumbled around crying looking for you, I couldn't see through the tears that you were buried between two people asleep on the couch until morning. I cried and my whole body and soul cried. I missed you, I felt alone, abandoned, I felt that you chose to stay away because I thought you would definitely come to me before daylight to cuddle and to sleep... I felt that you didn't want to. I knew even then that was a selfish assumption and most likely not true at all. I found comfort in knowing that my feelings were exaggerated. I felt like all the light was sucked out of me I used to feel this way A lot I realized. I have a hard ti,e loving myself and becoming friends with people, afraid that they won't like me or feel as attached as I likely will, most of my friends are far away or long out of touch now and there haven't been many. I feel awkward mostly, inappropriate even. But when i I finally let myself find you I felt only love and relief for and from you. I knew you love me, I knew the friendships we planted that night had a valid chance to blossom. The sun was out and cuddled and napped and the day was wonderful and so were we.
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