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iNsEcUrE_GoTh_GiRl
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she thought, breathless and glowing with nervous excitement.
maybe this time, after so many disappointing nights, she would finally do all the things she had wanted to for so very long.
they would be happy, she knew it.
the night passed the same as usual
she was puzzled,
she had been so VERY sure it was tonight
she went home alone, a little sad, a little angry and a little more cynical than before.
she'd thought this kind of thing before
each time to be disappointed,
again
and
again
but it was all her fault, really
for having such ludicrous expectations.
but she still can't help that little jolt of uncertainty, that thrilling shiver, whenever she thinks about it.
what if.....
but it wasn't to be tonight.
she thinks it will never be.
but there is still that doubt
that maybe, just maybe it will be.
so each time she makes that little more effort before she leaves to meet him
maybe this time he will be enticed.
too bad she's only a friend,
and that night will never be.
even if it happens, it will never be the way she wanted.
the time has passed, maybe it was never really an option at all.
every say she becomes a little more cynical
if she really cared, if she really believed, then maybe she would become a little more bitter each day,
but she doesn't care
she used to scream inside
but she choked the voice off
and now
there is only silence, where once there was fire.
maybe tomorrow night?
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050803
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