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god_hates_scissors
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u24
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it's the noise.
snip snip snip.
god really hates that.
murderers, rapists, I mean sure, he's got a contractual obligation to hate them, but it's scissors that he really hates.
it's a smack in the face, you see?
I mean, when you murder someone, that's all accounted for "thou shalt not kill, thee didst, thou shalt render thy soul to satan" simple.
but scissors? there's no rules for it. there's commandment "thou shalt not waste my gift of intelligence on ridiculous inventions like scissors".
bit of a lack of foresight, really. god just never saw it being an issue.
It's a lack of respect, I suppose.
God gave made us the cleverest of all monkeys, and what do we do? we invent scissors.
what an embarrassment.
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070413
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Strideo
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I just used a pair of scissors too.
*buries head in shame*
Oh Lord forgive me!
Please tell me God is cool with bottle openers.
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070414
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misstree
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as a sewing fiend, i own two pair of Gingher Scissors, one in tiny embroidery size, one in mondo cuth-through-fifty-layers-of-vinyl size, and i assure you, these are too beautiful to be human in origin. where other scissors saw, these split fabric like molecular vorpal beasties, and have pretty leopard print handles to boot.
if god hates my ginghers, god can go take a leap, because god has never tried to work with fake fur, vinyl, or leather.
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070414
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green tshirt
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what are scissors?
the dividers, the splitters, the unmakers
that which cuts and wounds
the mitosis avengers
the tool which most often does not work
the most southpaw prejudice household member
the gatherer of unnamed sticky substances
but where would we be without them?
without the ability to cut loose
to let go and say goodbye
to make two of one
without neat edges
or a slightly shorter piece of string
we would all have very long hair
and very unruly gardens
our clothes would all be one-piece moulded felt suits
everything would be a little bit more connected
and a bit less individual and differentiated
thank you, god, for scissors
your greatest blessing
your cruelest curse
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070414
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falling_alone
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someone stole my gingher's
twice
thats why he invented the rotary blade
and by god i'm in love.
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070430
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dafremen
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God only works in fake fur these days. He got tired of the PETA people getting pissy all of the time.
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181214
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