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self_esteem_system_failure
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poet
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i dont know how you did it but you managed to leave me dead, you stabbed a hole in my confidence and let my happiness drain out, you left your problems and i let them stay because they reminded me of you, and now i want it all out, i want to move on but the damage is done, im a self-doubting shell of a person that has no self esteem, every time i open my mouth i second guess myself and overthink everything until none of it makes sense anymore and im just a foreign mind bouncing around in a sea of lost, blind souls.
do i come across as a sane, normal person? cause i sure dont feel like one.
am i the only person who thinks about why we say things, and why we think things, and why the things that happen happen the way they do?
do people realize the context of their existence?
most people seem pretty content to live their whole life without looking at humanity from an external, less biased perspective. maybe thats why i feel like im going crazy? shit all this existential stuff is enough to drive almost anyone insane eventually.
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091005
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In_Bloom
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poet:
as you open yourself to the world and grown individually, your ambition to love, share and heal can get overwhelming until you pull back, create some boundaries for yourself to remain intact. After awhile, loving might be the riskiest venture you greenlight. Most people aren't apathetic but they do learn in time what they can affect, how much to give and still be grounded.
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091005
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unhinged
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i am also having a existential_crisis because yet again work is blowing up in my face.
i have come to realize most people do not think of how their existence affects others and/or don't care how their existence affects others. i think people think that this kind of mindless selfish life will make them happier, but it does quite the opposite. but, it is also hard for me to deal with because i spend a lot of time contemplating how my actions might affect others and try really hard to be a kind, considerate person. so when someone comes at me at work saying i was rude and offensive it makes me doubt my entire career. not to mention i'm not really on the owner's good side and she fired a teacher this summer for pretty much the same thing. *sigh* work should not stress me out this much. that's really all i know right now.
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091006
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