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endless desire
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but they never set her free. and because i realized today, as i have a thousands times before, that just because i have not tickled my throat in a while, does not mean that the idea does not consume me. does not mean that the hole that grows in my stomach that will soon be filled for a day and then emptied again and then given into again is doing me any good. what starts as one thing, forms into another. this has formed into a mind game. nothing more, nothing less. it is nothing else. not to eat not to uneat not anything of the sort. not it is my mind. it is consuming me so relentlessly. hate and worry and a sicken disorted image of myself in mind. i am trying to do what i know is right, but i don't know how to live without this consuming me. i_have_forgotten_how_to_live. twirl twirl. so innocent so playful but you are bound to fall but you are bound to sink but you are bound to give_and_die oh, how can twirling do her so much harm?
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030709
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