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reue
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i happened again... i felt it all slip away... all those years and memories came flooding back and i was standing chest-deep. but this time i'm trying, i'm struggling to not just be washed away with the current. i refuse to be sweeped away again. i can still see myself, that person, that state-of-mind... still standing there, mocking me, telling me that i'm pathetic. yelling at me to just give up. no, i can't again. i'm slowly starting to feel like i'm getting out of the way, out of that frieght-train rush. but i'm afraid, this time i have a reason not to. a reason to stand just on that edge. tempt it and prod it. i know i could easily be pulled back in, so i want to run. but i'm afraid if i run, that reason will be lost forever. if i run, i'm afraid i'll still be empty.
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031020
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