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yo_misstree
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u24
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do you really honestly beleive that any of this is real?
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040907
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misstree
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does it matter?
whether it is or not, i do enjoy a nice black_and_tan after work, so to improve my little personal corner of the universe (may or may not be compatible with thine own), i gulp one down.
what do you think?
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040908
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misstree
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besides which, to answer such a question (for me anyhow) would first involve nailing down that little word "real" and making it squeal like a pig and tell me just what exactly it means. which i'm a mite bit too stoned for at the moment.
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040908
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u24
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indeed it would (require a definition)
in fact, so would 'this', it's a poorly phrased question.
it's a question about what we can reasonably believe.
can I believe that I exist?
what is 'I'?
if 'I' is my physical self, do I have reason to believe in it?
not really; the only reason I have a conception of my physical self, is because of the evidence of my senses, which are also physical - I am because I am? I don't think so.
However, these physical senses only come to my attention because of a mental process. Here we start to see another concept come into consideration - that our mental is entirely seperate from our physical, assuming this to be true, we can have no conception of our senses, if the physical and mental are entireley seperate.
But yet we do have a conception of our senses.
So imagine, for a moment, that our mental and physical sides are not entirely seperate, and that there is a crossover, can we now, having ruled out the idea that our senses are imaginations of our mental self, believe in our physical self?
Yes, because in order for us to mentally recieve sensory input, ther must be, or have been a physical cause.
Can we trust that our conception of our physical self bears any resemblance to it's true nature?
No, because we can have no sure way of knowing that our senses are truthfully, or uniformly, conveying the physical input.
I'll spew more.
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040913
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u24
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change 'ruled out' to 'ignored for convienience', above.
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040913
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misstree
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i'll spew more too, when i remember to in the proper state. things have been decidedly too mundane for decidedly too long; time to hop back on the brain bowflex.
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040915
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u24
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I'm studying metaphysics in philosophy. it's much fun.
will chat more.
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041013
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mt
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got any good ideas on releasing excess aggression while you're at it?
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041013
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u24
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running, walking, shouting. playing quake. erm... jumping. :)
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041102
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blue
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Any physical activity, really...
Angry at anything in particular?
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041102
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mt
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just hating the world. wanting to smash things all the time. wanting to use my stiletto on all the little sheeples. i'm surrounded by Grey, Grey, Grey, and it's coating me alive. i want to rage to break the slow suffocating silence. hunting is worse here than yellowstone. i hate everything, i have no voice, i need release.
yeppers. and running and jumping just isn't quite me style, i'm afraid. and the weather is getting too cold for a good frolic, which is more of just a boredom bubbler than anything. what i really need is a shooting range or something.
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041106
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oldephebe
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oh man. misstree you never dissapoint whether in rapture or in a slow smoldering rage. It's good to read your posts again. Blather has missed you. I was gonna ask you how you've been but having read a few of your recent posts I ah am pleased to know that at least you haven't lost your edge or the unique cadenses and juxatapositions (jarring i'd say for the uninitiated) that are almost like an inimitable imprimature.
Life here in the Philly/South Jersey area is probably not much different from when you were here. (how vague, bland and non-commital is THAT?)
*hurls into the polished alabaster commode*
hope the holidays were good to ya
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hobbling along awkwardly, still trying to extricate myself from past. and now i'm making my face of bland resignation, my bland resignation face... it conveys mostly that and maybe a little intestinal perturbation
later
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050122
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misstree
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thanky, 'phebe. it's been a bit tough lately, mostly because utter lack of money causes some stress, and in fact the holidays were quite the oddness... but going to visit the parents next week, going to be there about a week, and have a high speed connection and much angst and boredom, and prolly spend quite a bit of time venting and reflecting... i still got a bit of an eris rant in me waiting for ask_misstree... but ya, been busy and keeping my brain deadened as i can, but soon will be more rants. :) might even have a webpage soon too, but it's still in the plotting stages.
good to hear you're still doing well; i've caught a couple of your recent posts, and it's good to still hear your voice about... there are others who are always appreciated as well, but they know who they are. (lick 'em all, the blessed beings.)
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050123
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oldephebe
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blessed beings...yea i have to remember that - god have you really been reading some of my blathes cause if you have you've either got an amazing vein of optimism running through you or prescient or doing that nurturing thing or something 'cause i ain't doin' so well - for some legal reasons i can't really go into it but i feel like the native americans being circled by custers murderous calvary. i feel like the more decent the more restraint i show the more i make appeals for decency and humanity of my advesaries the more savage they become....i just don't get it...there was a time when i was loved by man and women i mean like friends a bunch of artistic vagabond types...and now..and now i'm trying to be strong for the kid - i say - i don't think we are that much much different..you know? i mean here on this angrily spinning blue ball...i have the same fears and dreams and hug my child to my chest and fill him with my courage and love and i'm just saying well maybe if i were the helion that mtree is maybe i'd have gone titus andronicus on thier hearts drowning whatever metaphore you can use to convey the most abysmal and demonic kind of hate..i mean the pathological obsessive kind of malice that impells one to service that need that deficit of humanity thier every waking hour...the kind of mob hate that impelled the russian mobs onward in thier genocidal lust against jewish citizens in thier midst - pogrom - the word itself conjures dark winter of the heart and rags set fire and thrown into their midst - all of this needless suffering i want to say...if you'd just let Perfect Love touch you! what are you running from so desperately in your self that you focus me?
be well metree and i look forward to that site - i thought you already had one on chaos magic?...i recall seeing a photo on chaos magic of someone representing herself to be "misstree"
i can't change who i am...i hope your folks are well mtree and that being close to thier busom transmits something, some covering some blanket of that thing all of us felt as small kids, the feeling of being safe, warm and protected and secure in the seeming omniscience and endless patience of our parents
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050210
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misstree
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darlin', i can't tell you how much i feel you with the custer bit... life is a relentless beast... and ask_misstree told of my recent thoughts about the divine guidance in my life... just enough signs that i can't even have the comfort of faithlessness, but if the big E is any help, i can't see it... no sympathy from a bitch goddess... it's always felt and getting stronger that life hasn't followed through on some promise, that i signed away comfort in exchange for something greater and the something greater breaks five minutes out of the box... promised_me_poems and all that... but what_can_be_done? somewhere sometime i likened the passage of time to the shedding of a snake's skin... "all we can do is look forward, steel ourselves, and begin"... every moment a new beginning, only a hair different in inward or outward spirals... it's the moments of Push that are the most drastic of trajectory changes... that throwing shoulders back, cracking knuckles, chin up, and "let's do this." but what happens when you don't even have a cliff to jump off of?
bah. sorry, optimism a bit thin right now, mother ill and a million other things wrong... i promise i'll come back here and contradict meself as soon as i can...
thanks for thinking of me... and be strong, baybee, it's all we have in this world... is the ability to take a punch... 'cause we can't stop them from being thrown...
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050211
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transportaled
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"yo" from a friend
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060502
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misstree
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seriously, i'm about ready to hafta start counting hte peoplt hat have unexpectedly popped out of hte woodwork in the past week. i commented somewheres that it's like i've been sending asubconscious s_o_s. yeah. about that. kinda clicked at some point that, oh yeah, i was doing ritual and, oh yeah, i *did* ask for all the homies to holla. and holla they are. and much does it mean to me, and much goodness does each holla do. even the anonymous ones. :P
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060502
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