|
florescent light
|
People always tell me that I am different, that I do my own thing.
But I'm not who you think I am.
Am I being myself?
Or am I being who you want me to be?
Terrified of their judgments
Why do I care so much what people think?
Especially my parents.
They're bad parents, and their love for me is conditional.
I'm planning to move across the country, so I can get away from their stinging grip.
My goal is to mentally divorce myself from them before I leave, so that I am not running from my problems.
It shouldn't matter what they think.
But if I do something they don't agree with, soemthing that doesn't fit into there definition of the perfect daughter, especially with regards to religion, they will disown me.
My father's already disowned me about 5 times.
If I do something that they don't want me to do- they say.."If you do this- don't bother coming back here ever, don't bother calling again, etc."
What person doesn't want the comfort of knowing that there parents will be there in case of an emergency?
It upsets me and causes me much distress.
I can't be myself because you won't love me if I am.
|
010323
|
