secrets_of_the_world_revealed
Strideo
many
of
you
have
been
to
the
retail
establishment
known
as
Walmart
and
you
may
have
noticed
that
there
is
typically
a
person
commonly
known
as
a
"greeter"
somewhere
near
each
entrance
.
there
is
more
to
this
than
meets
the
eye
!
you
may
have
also
noticed
that
these
so
called
"greeters"
usually
stand
on
a
little
rubber
gray
padded
mat
.
this
may
seem
like
an
ordinary
orthopedic
mat
but
BE
WARNED!
this
mat
is
the
sacred
"
no
man's
island
"
upon
which
only
a
"greeter"
may
stand
!
if
any
other
should
set
foot
upon
this
mat
then
they
shall
be
stabbed
for
their
insolence!
you
may
not
be
able
to
tell
but
each
Walmart
"greeter"
possesses
upon
their
person
a
small
knife
specifically
for
the
purpose
of
stabbing
mat
stepping offenders.
as
long
as
they
shout
the
phrase
"
I
STAB
THEE
FOR
THY
INSOLENCE!"
before
they
make
the
stabbing
then
you
have
no
legal
recourse.
...
080911
...
()
(thunderous
applause
!)
080911
...
lunatic jesus
Goddamn
,
I
need
one
of
those
mats
...
080911
...
In_Bloom
I
have
just
been
to
my
manager's
office
to
put
in
my
request
.
Got
my
own
knife
.
080911
...
three words
pet's_death
what_life_is_not
secrets_of_the_world_revealed
110926
...
falling_alone is next to xyz
And
then
you
sit
up
The
high
had
faded
The
fire
is
dead
The
music
is
no
longer
playing
sitting
in
the
lawn
chair
was
uncomfortable
The
weeds
are
no
longer
pretty
And
you
realize
you
are
behind
the
parking
lot
of
a
salvation
army
110926
