blather
failing_on_four_cylindars
REAListic optimIST reacting to chaos intentionally placed
by a housemate's drawn out exit,
to fear of success, to feeling overwhelmed.

projects sit untouched and half finished.
thoughts sit incomplete and ignored.
sleep is chosen over a bit of progress.

I'm failing_on_four_cylindars

keeping the other four cylindars running
to keep my job, to pay my bills, and
to continue getting A's in school

takes all of my energy and focus
there's nothing left for projects
and barely any left for friends/family.

when i was unemployed and not in school,
i had the other four cylindars churning
and i'm not sure how to recapture that

to succeed_on_eight_cylindars
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