blather
lovers_lamentation
werewolf there's a lonliness i feel. and we all think it's only ours. and i guess there's arguments on both sides. there's this need that no other person can ever meet. and yet, though it's been proven time and time again, though some later incarnation of the myth i call me will laugh at me and say cruelly what one lover after another gingerly walked around because it broke them too, i still cannot help but feel when it's night time and there's soft music playing on the drive home, that yeah maybe she missed the point, as i probably did, as this song does, always sliding off of some pure moment like light into the rehashing that is sight, but it was enough. and then despite it all, i think words, ridiculous words in some sense, in all they seek to contain, words like ever after, mean something. are the very pain of recognizing beauty enough to know it eludes us eventually. 020820
...
unhinged the_pain of a tattoo
only stopped my wrist from itching
for a few hours


he scares me
how i want him
how i huddle inside my walls
knowing that i couldn't be real with him
but just want him to hold me
because he would
hold_me
i think
but then i would cry
and he would say 'please don't do that'
and i would catch the tears
before they hit his arm
afraid to sniffle the tears
that i had tried to stifle
letting them leak from my nose
and wiping them away
with the smallest movements
so that he won't wake up
i want him to
hold_me
but i'm already huddled inside my walls
pushing away
he's got another girl anyways
040828