blather
glioblastoma
lycanthrope The name without a name
The image which crowds itself
An apple wearing a hat where the face would be.
Pills like movie concession candies
Scooped into buckets
With shovels
And the unsteady tittering hands
And pimply adolescent unease
Of orderlies at a summer job.
Tarry shits,
The inability to stand,
Your most beloved childhood teacher
Caught in loops like a toy
Running low on batteries.
Welcome to the first day of class.
This all used to be orange groves.
My art professor had a crush on me
And I wonder what if.
Changing entire generations of diapers.
Firing a caregiver for drinking on the job.
Eyes filling with confusion, anger, flecked with
Blue Kindness.
I never liked our neighbor.
But you baked her pies four times a year.
Seeing her granddaughter swim for the first time.
Little eyes filling with wonder, flecked with hunger, crankiness,
They transfer info, like a USB dug
Out of an intergalactic trash heap
And jammed into a super computer
To save humanity's first drawing of a giraffe with the hopes of a spark that crosses generations
Of upgrades and degradation.
Mostly it's howling wind and fire
Like a Tokyo firestorm,
But there are moments where a little
Girl stands on a bridge in the midst of it
Whispering gran loves you.
Something must remain,
Eternal orange groves,
The bowels we once had dominion over will tire of rebellion
Retire to substrate and coffee grounds
And eyes will open once more
To a familiar phrase.
Welcome to your first day of class.
The medium of memory degrades
But the payload has been delivered.
And the mighty teacher puts down
The chalk
And asks for just one more sip
Of wine and water and children
Swimming.
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IGG This was powerful to read - a beautifully written song_of_innocence_and_experience. 220727
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lycanthrope thank you. 220727
...
unhinged after making him pinky swear
to take his pain meds
the hospice nurse looked
over at us and said
'i see a lot of firefighters with
this kind of cancer
but i don't always see this much family
around taking care of my patients'


i was used to fighting with him
about
politics
so when he tried to fight with me
in the last days of his life
about helping him
take a fucking piss
i didn't even think twice
'no dad
i'm not leaving you alone
you need my help
and jeff needs to sleep'
because my brother was
the only one allowed to help
in the end


i measured out the morphine
in the syringe
as the clock hit the right time
he had stopped talking hours before
but when i said
'its time for your medicine dad'
his mouth fell open
in assistance
the power of the pinky swear
revealing itself


now
i talk to an urn full of ashes
wishing it was him

like i said
somewhere else
where i no longer feel
welcome to speak
since i have to be nice
rather than honest

the past 18 months without him
are like
an eyeblink and an eternity

all_at_once
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