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please_interpert
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betwixt
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ok, so what does it mean when i guy continually asks you if you hate him?
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020604
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squint
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he's insecure?
need more information I think...
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020604
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cardinal_4219
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He really likes you.
And he is afraid of liking you and wants you to hate him because he is scared of commitment.
And he has a really really low self worth.
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020604
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stephen patrick morriseys evil twin
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not so much afraid of commitment as of rejection, but yes, assume he likes you a great deal but is so insecure and unsure of his self worth as to think you might view him as badly as he views himself
I've spent a long long time knowing exactly how he feels
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020604
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DannyH
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He means: do you not love me?
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020604
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Dafremen
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Of course it could mean that he´s been accused of liking you by his friends and truly finds your physical appearance and or mannerisms to be unpleasing. By pushing you away, he could be attempting to clarify his NONattraction to you and thereby create a publicly unmistakeable distance between you in order to remove all doubt.
Of course, in my case, it would have been that after years of learning to love people only to have them hurt me, I had developed an involuntary defense mechanism which caused me to treat the people that I care for the most, like crap. Sort of a defense mechanism against being hurt again. The more profound my affection for someone, the more I would push them away from me. Thank goodness the missus is a Cancer. They are tenacious people who grab hold and don´t let go. They also have a natural habit of becoming cold and distant when they are afraid of being hurt (they are extremely sensitive people, in spite of their protective crunchy outward appearance. Like the crab, they are hard on the outside, soft and sweet on the inside) and so she was probably able to deal with and understand this phenomenon of my personality better than most folks would have been able to.
To summarize, some folks push folks away because the deeper their affection, the greater the hurt if the affection isn´t reciprocated. It´s a defense mechanism. It´s not necessarily that he has low self esteem as it could be that he has a low trust threshhold and a history of being hurt by people that he had grown fond of.
see also: DAFREMEN (Pushing You Away)
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020604
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cardinal_4219
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Tell us more about him, betwixt, so we can beter interpret him. Right now all we have to go on is basic human nature and projecting our own faults onto him.
Most of us (myself included) have a great deal of faults to paint nto him. If you are more specific we can be more precise.
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020604
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Dafremen
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Faults is so judgemental. Can we call them traits that we´re better off without.
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020604
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cardinal_4219
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If you feel you need to hide behind euphemisms Dafremen, be my guest. That is a "trait that you're better off without" that you can keep for yourself.
I'll be just fine with out it, if that is alright with you.
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020604
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unhinged
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hehehe
daf has another satisfied customer.
being that we are both libras, i know where daf was coming from earlier. i prefer the word fault myself. but then again i am the infamous pessimist extraordinare.
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020604
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morrisseys evil twin
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except for the brief blurb about faults vs traits, i think daf has a pretty solid point, although i'd also say that it could be a combination of some of what i had to say earlier with some of what daf had to say..
perhaps a bit of poor self image mixed with a certain level of defensiveness in the wake of previous bouts of unrequited affection ... i can't believe i missed that possibility since that (in my own experience, anyway) has been precisely the case every time (so i gradually become more and more of a pathetically shy and insceure creature every time)
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020605
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Dafremen
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Yea! So there cardinal!
Oh..hey do0d! Long time no talkseez...missed ya chicklette.
Faults my ass..who needs more of those?!
Certainly not me.
: )
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020605
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Betwixt
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So, there is need of explination.
Ok, I can do that.
We've known each other for years.
When we were younger I used to be more comfortable around him, but lately, he has kinda gotten um, different, more quiet to me. So, now I guess I'm kinda less open with him, but it's because he started acting like that.
But, I can belive Daff's explination.
It kinda fits him.
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020606
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birdmad
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when i was a kid (15), i fell in love (for the first tiem ever) with my best friend and i kept weirding her out every time i tried to build up the nerve to tell her, i asked stupid questions and behaved awkwardly, it took me a year to finally tell her and in the end she shot me down anyway (which in my screwed up head convinced me that i was right to have been so afraid of saying it in the first place)
i was a shy precocious art-geek and outside of her and a couple of other people the only friends i had came from the fact that my weirdness was good for a laugh
because of this fact i was convinced in my own head that there was no way in hell that i was good enough for her so i made with the dumb questions hoping that her answers would be my guide
but it didn't quite turn out that way...by the time i finally had the nerve to say anything, she was already with someone else (the son of a shitty TV news anchor)
be patient wth him, but if he keeps weirding you out with his awkwardness, ask him straight out what the deal is
maybe something good might come out of it
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020606
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drstrangelove
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also you gotta ask yourself if you have been doing anything or NOT doing somethings that might be making think like this. That plus a combo of above response is somewhere near the truth?
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020606
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blue star
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he likes you a lot and he doesnt' think you like him as much and so he's worried that his euphoria has blinded him. He's thinking maybe he bugs the shit out of you and he's just not noticing it.
I know cuz I do that all the time. And yes, I realize it's counter-productive
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020606
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cardinal_4219
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Do you like him, Betwixt?
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020606
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Dafremen
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see also: JUST_RUN_AWAY
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020612
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Betwixt
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I'm not sure if I like him, Cardinal.
i would like him if he liked me, you know what I mean.
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020613
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werewolf
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me
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020613
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Dafremen
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You're funny werewolf.
Like the way pigeons toss tortilla bits in the air when they take a bite. You're like standing there in the middle of a flock of pigeons with hundreds of little tortilla bits popping up in the air, twisting and landing.
You're kinda like that werewolf.
Glad I could help.
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020713
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yummychuckle
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werewolf.
you are peices of poetry followed by bits of rude laughter, you are delicious words and beautiful lies, you are honest in your deception and dishonest in your truths, and even if I am sort of
shaky and irky and silly over you
I actually do enjoy you quite a bit. (shh, don't tell that to the boy I wrote the poem for)
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020714
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werewolf
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the image helped. the snap of the mouth and the twist of the neck, the tainted trajectories of tortilla dreams. but it's missing something. the howl started by and emptied of instinct.
as to the rest, you may be on to something. what i meant was, you may be on something. my good side? ah ambiguity. please interpret
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020715
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unhinged
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please don't ask me to. i don't know where every single word comes from. it comes from you, him, her, them, us. the things my heart transmits to my brain in words that i've been thinking about you, him, her, them, us all smashed up into a singular love poem of the way i always wanted everything to be but never quite turned out. some of the things i wrote didn't even make sense to me; i don't think i could interpret my heart. that's why i wrote these things in the first place. a vague meager attempt at what i wanted to say but just wouldn't come out right no matter how hard i tried. my tongue is always tied around you; you call me on the phone and i still don't know what to say.
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020715
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