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misstree
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there's a convenience store across the street, and like the dog left too long at home, my ears perk with every closing car door, listening for the sound of footfalls.
i don't remember the last time i saw him, though it was only two days ago. i had been drinking all day, and the last i remember was being swallowed by swimmy unself with just one more glass of wine. my roommate tells me we were up for some time after that, but i have no idea what went on.
having lived part of life, participated in it, but to carry no memory of it... it will be a grinning menace until i unlock that secret, get some of the pieces returned to me from the eyes of others.
i ask the crows, hugin_and_munin, thought and memory, to tell me, or to bring me he who can, but they caw back mockingly, insisting that for now, they are just crows.
even at this hour, i peer out the window at the sound of a car that might be familiar.
i am haunted by the thought that i may have caused offense. i am not unfamiliar with the extremes my behavior can reach if properly prodded; i even have the pleasure of remembering a few of the episodes. it is unlikely to be unforgivable, but still...
until i know, i keep listening, hoping he returns with tales.
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070809
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