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pobodys nerfect
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While talking to a dear friend of mine,he posted something on aim for me that I thought I would share here. I think his writing reveals a wisdom well beyond his 15 years. =o)
"for a minute there, i thought i had lost it totally.
this social contemplation is doing me no favours.
i was pushed in at the deep end and i think it is manifesting my hatred.
the only way i can deal with this is to spit out another childish rant in notepad.
peel the skin down over my eyes, let me feel the heat of desperation, grasping and longing. let me write something new lord, for the audience are tiring of the same old thing, i want to be the disco queen, and dance myself to joy.
the years are bearing down on me, i can feel it. dead or alive, they pass. see. feel. hear. fuck. eat. breathe. vomit. age. die. you make sense of them, for i cannot.
i never said i was better than you, but i can tell in the way you smell me as i go past.
you rub cream into the charcoaled flesh of my heart, just to watch it burn.
you don't need me but i do need you, and we spin round, like chairs on stilts, anticipating the next move, one of cruelty, one of subtlety.
tragic youths are we, longing to be something big, something beautiful, something bold, but alas, we will thrive to become nothing. meaningless. worthless. trash. see the smile on my face, this fractured reality.
crown me king and we shall see the progress master. let me take control, so i do not feel like i have lost all of my own.
that is it. farewell to you all. i shall miss you.
i fear i can no longer go on.
my death will be more than just a sad song.
i will see you in a better place, where the angels fly and the sea is made of baby's hair. reach up and the clouds shall be ragged with toenails, and it will be our paradise, our grace land, our happiness.
it will be our time."
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030909
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