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enrico.basilica
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Spent all this time, not being stressed, and now I started thinking about it, and whoosh. There it is again.
And most of it comes from the fact that other people are stressing about it [exam] and I'm not. Really. But then I get stressed that Im not stressed.
But I remind myself - it doesnt matter. You're not going to pass anyway. Meek acceptance of the failure to come. But with that comes peace of mind. Only being around people who are stressing about it makes all that peace of mind fly right out the window.
Im studying to be an engineer. But the subject I have the most (or all actually) trouble with is mechanics. Its supposed to be the foundation of engineering. What good am I going to be if I dont understand what's going on? Is it me, or is it the crap teacher? But I cant blame the teacher can I? When other people can do it. It must be me. But if its me, why only this subject? Why not everything else? At least then I would be able to say 'Right then, this isnt the degree for me.' But no.
And so I end up here. Spilling my guts into the void that is the internet. Only not. Its not a void, because I can come back to it. And I can only hope, that as is the case with many of my other Blathes, I can come back, years from now, look at it, and think how much I've changed. Hopefully by then I'll get Mechanics of Materials. But until then, I guess I'll just go study some more.
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070401
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