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sometimes_i_don't_want_to_be_blather_stalked
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ethereal
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It's nice to know that you're being read.
But sometimes.
It's not.
In fact it's quite the opposite.
Sometimes you make a thread that you just want to linger and eventually dissapate. Written by you, read only by you.
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040330
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smart ass dumb ass whatever
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yeah, they have that. it's called a JOURNAL!
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040330
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Syrope
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no there's a difference...sometimes i want to be read but i want to be read for the words, the feelings. when i read i dont even look at the names unless something strikes me & i want to address that person or someting...or if it seems like a reply to something i'd said. its not always comfortable knowing you're being blather_stalked as a person. as a blather entity, fine, but leave who i really am out of this
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040331
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sleepy*
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this place is real
the words are real
these are real people
who you are here *is* (also) who you 'really' are
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040331
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Syrope
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i disagree
who i am here is who i am in the truest sense...a sense of being exactly who i want to be, when i want, why i want.
but who i am, really, is not who i blathe as. the person i am, really, holds back. doesn't say what she's thinking a lot of the time. pretends she's ok when she's not. and that's the only thing that allows her to cope with the every day world.
"Its such a lie that you should do what's in your heart. If we all did what was in our hearts, the whole world would come to a hault."
~mscl
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040331
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ethereal
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Syrope you sum up everything, perfectly.
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040331
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sleepy*
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but the two of you are dependent on eachother
the 'real' you uses the same fingers to type words on a keyboard
if the blather you happens to see a reflection of her face in the monitor, she sees the same face that real you sees when she looks in a mirror
the two of you have the same memory, the same vocabulary, ate the same thing for dinner
------
isn't it strange that the 'real' you is not the 'truest' you?
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040331
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ethereal
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do i know that what you see when you look at me is who i just saw looking back at me in the mirror?
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040331
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minnesota_chris
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well, you use sentences, ethereal. People who use sentences are sexy.
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040331
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tessa
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do you really love sentences or are you just using them?
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040401
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Syrope
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:) thanks ethereal
sleepy*, i don't know how else to explain it.
we're not dependent on each other. we don't even get along.
i don't see myself in the mirror, real or true. i see someone i've never seen before, every time. i'm always surprised. in the screen i only see a shape. not a person.
we don't have the same memory, i try to forget things that i know the truest me, the heart of me, remembers. and my heart is so much more articulate...fuck having the same vocabulary. and my heart threw up after i ate dinner.
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040410
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sleepy*
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I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make people angry.
I’m not trying to deny the many different ways to exist and to experience self. I’m not trying to deny the otherness that can be felt when looking in the mirror.
I understand that to lots of people (including me) it is very important that their existence in blather is kept distant from their existence outside of blather.
I probably shouldn't have entered this discussion in the first place because I don't actually disagree with any of your sentiments, ethereal. You were objecting to being blather_stalked, and that is totally fine by me.
The dependency I was referring to is the dependency I think exists between all things in this universe. Every tiny thing is implicated in and implicates every other thing. I don't think borders can be drawn around things, separating them and claiming that they exist independent of each other.
The dependency is not about 'getting along' or harmonising or even making sense, it's about implication. I can't think of any other way of explaining it.
I don't think there exists more than one reality. I think everything/everyone exists in the one reality (and even if this reality is somehow multiple, its multiples are not independent).
Syrope referred to "being blather_stalked as a person". To me this can only mean that some how 'blather' and 'person' meet each other. If they were completely separate and had nothing to do with each other, I don't think this could happen. Syrope also talks about them not getting along. If they exist in different, separate realities, where does this conflict occur?
As I said, I'm sorry. Originally I only commented because the language being used echoed with a whole lot of stuff that I have been thinking about recently, it wasn't even really in reference to the topic being discussed. I just had words, so I blathered.
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040411
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Syrope
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no its cool, i didn't mean to sound angry. i wasnt angry. i never really thought about it before this blathe. i just know that i don't live with the same honesty that i blathe. when someone asks me in person about something i wrote on blather, it's like someone poking me from another dimension. it's generally not done, even though i think it should be. your insistance on one reality is just as valid as my insistance that i can't place myself in it
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040411
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u24
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agrees with the poking from another dimension thing. I don't like having my name shown, but somehow I always type it. I wish I could leave and return under another name, but I'm sure the same would happen after time. I don't want you to recognise me, but at the same time, I don't want to simply be anonymous; I'd forget what I wrote and what I didn't. Also, I'm sure some of you would recognise my writing style. Spelling diffences also pose a problem. so I'm stuck with being me. sigh.
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040420
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shower singer
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I say wear your spelling differences proudly.
Fly your colours high.
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040420
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