blather
swap_meet_of_psychoses
dafremen One of the primary foundations upon which society is built seems to be the exchange of baggage between individuals. "You put up with my issues, and I'll put up with yours" being the basic idea.

Socialization is an exchange, and like all exchanges, people are looking for the best deals. God forbid we should be "duped" into handling more baggage than we have to share.

This arrangement works out well for everyone except the people with more issues and more baggage than anyone else. Few wish to exchange with them because the trade is so very uneven.

Only the strong, and very generous of spirit even try, because we're a society of lazy bargain hunters. Too much effort, too little return to save the emotional wrecks from themselves. Too much effort, too little return for the wretches to reach out anymore.

And need we wonder why its always SOLITARY gunmen, virtual RECLUSE serial killers and mild-mannered UNNOTICED Mr.Hydes who rob us of any sense of security or satisfaction on the morning news once every couple of months or so?

They couldn't find a taker for their baggage so they gave it away.

They couldn't get into the circle jerk so they broke it up a bit.

In this crazy, messed up swap meet of psychoses, I suppose that "you get what you give" goes for sympathy and mercy too. 		131125
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REAListic optimIST If "you get what you give" or "quid pro quo", were the way things worked for you, it seems to me that unbalanced exchanges wouldn't be an issue. Giving with expectations or strings attached seems like a complicated system to my understanding, and I don't get how that perspective leads to a feeling of inner peace or even social safety.

For instance, my own take on this issue is to put work into figuring my own issues out and to determine how they influence my interactions with others. I am learning to not take responsibility for the feelings of others so much, and to do a better job of setting my own personal boundaries. Then, when I am present in the moment and encounter an opportunity to give, I can more readily be of service without expectation and still feel safe because I am solid in my self concept and am thus shielded against attacks on my spirit, or exchanges that might drain me beyond my immediate ability to recover.

I am learning to forgive myself when I (somewhat frequently) do not live up to this ideal, and to forgive others when I (somewhat frequently) find that I have judged them. I don't know if reading about my perspective on this issue provides any context, since one's own take on how to interrelate at this level is so subjective and connected to the deep psychological and emotional events and trauma that make us who we are. I thought I would speak of it anyway on the off chance that there's something of use in there. 		131125
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dafremen The entire last blather started with the presumption that "you get what you give" is a voluntary process. Karma begs to differ. 131125
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dafremen A good read might be: welcome_to_prelife_instruction

: ) 		131125
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REAListic optimIST That's beautiful. Thank you! 131126
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CheapVodka What about those that are intrigued by the baggage much heavier than their own? The people who are happy to help carry someone's overbearing load, and don't think twice about it. Someone willing to invest in a jalopy b/c they can believe one day, maybe it can run.. Not just run but be better than it was to begin with.

Is this an insane concept?

I completely agree that the world is just one big flea market of people trying to sell themselves and prove that they have the best to offer.

I personally tend to look for the fixer-uppers. I believe in nurture vs nature.. of course pulling for nurture.

Aren't the most damaged capable of being the most colorful and most triumphant?

Go on and say it, that I'm just so 'PollyAnna'. 		131127
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dafremen You're just so Polly Anna. :D 221125
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ego hum the first three winners

are 		221125
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ego hum Sorry, too much impairment 221125
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