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i_feel_stuck
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perfectly_chaotic
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It is as if when I am laying down the skin, bones and flesh on the front side of my chest sink down towards my back. It feels like they could sink on forever and never hit the bottom of my body.
It is as if I am drifting through a sea inside of me. Unable to move, paralyzed for days on end. Sinking, deeper and deeper into this nothingness. I can breath as deeply as I want but it is as if there are weights dragging me down and I cannot resist.
All I want to do is sleep. All I want to do is sleep. All I want to do is sleep. But all I can do is nothing. Unable to rise, unable to sleep. Between gasping, choked breaths I can briefly write and maybe think. Helpless, it is as if I am watching myself slip away. No story I can write about my life can explain it. No thought in my mind can contain it. I am slipping away.
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110108
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lostgirl
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looking_out helps tremendously with the unsticking process.
random_heavy_heart
feeling shitty inside and noticing that feeling all the time can get a person stuck in a shitty rut. (believe me when i tell you i speak from experience.)
try to notice the beauty in nature, in the smiles of laughing children, in the perfectly_chaotic words of a talented writer.
i recently experienced a severe trauma that changed my face forever, so i have been internalizing nonstop.... someone close to me had to remind me that i was indeed still alive.
hang_in
thinking_of_you
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110108
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perfectly_chaotic
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When I do leave the house I do notice the beauty of nature. The smiles from children who do not fear me despite the fact that I am a stranger are a wonderfully beautiful thing.
Oftentimes it is a motivation factor for me. There are days when it seems incredibly difficult to ever even leave my bed unless other people beckon me to do so. Thank goodness for the friends I still have around for encouraging me to leave my own little personal cave or I might never see the bright light of the day nor the moon's gentle light.
Also, thank you lg for your kind words. Although we have never met they mean a lot to me. Your words also show that you are, in fact, alive.
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110109
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