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blueberries for you
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there was once an irritated, cranky, middle-aged man who lived in an impeccably clean house with polished floors and mini-blinds you could swipe the tops with fingertips and not find even a speck of dust.
there came a morning he woke to find the appearance of one average sized bright orange maple leaf. he did not notice the obvious beauty, instead, he became disturbed, for it was littering the spotless floor of his orderly foyer.
"motherfuck!" he mumbled, and stamped the ceramic tile with his penny loafer. he wasn't wearing socks. the loud noise of his yelling echoed in the cleanliness of the hallway. concerned that he might soil his hands if he picked it up, he tromped to the pantry. amongst meticulously stacked cans of virgin olive oil and one gallon bottles of cranberry juice, a broom hung in vertical juxtaposition to the horizontal brass dustpan.
he snatched the broom like an angry witch in a hurry.
it was a simple matter of opening the door and sweeping the leaf outside. but then, he didn't like its presence on the sidewalk. "motherfuck!" he snorted and swept it off the sidewalk into mulberry street. digruntled by the solitary way it trashed the road, he continued to swear like a drunken sailor and kept sweeping with the determined intentions of driving the leaf back to the woods where it had originated.
however, in his blind hostility, he was sadly unaware that the once beautiful leaf crumbled to nothing under the tortuous friction of the relentless bristles.
when he reached the forest, his fervent persistent labour did not cease, for his thinking was the further he pushed the leaf into the shade of the trees, the less likely it would return to soil his house.
darkness fell and when he could no longer see the end of his broom he was satisfied that his goal was achieved, yet, to his horror, he realized he was hopelessly and unequivocally lost.
they say he never returned to his house and search parties could not find him. his house was sold, for he was all alone and there was no one to give it to. a family with three kids live in it now.
you should see, it's a fucking pigpen.
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