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http://evilcorey.netfirms.com/nonsense.html
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New Nonsense:
"Toddlers have tiny lungs, its hard to hear them scream, I know, ive personally felt them"
"I chase toddlers on the big toy and the fat ones get stuck ass up in the slide just like i like it. Im priesty mcfoodnstuffs"
"Dont worry cats grow hair slow... I think"
"1. being born 2. apincocers and tirefucks 3. Not touching it"
"well, that's how I got my sac stuck in the bathtub drain one time..."
"dude, you pass out, miss all of the decade, and wake up in a cryogenic freeze capsule on the planet of the apes"
"if i was famous id have all kinds of illegitimate children just so i could have fetus smoothies every wednesday."
"also, if i was famous i would buy lots of zip lock bags and kittens and make a wall of asphixiated pets."
"im a pretty little girl with a periscope and lots of lube, its fine"
"If you wake up in the morning without a face, you should go out back and check the shit piles for flesh chunks."
"...and when the gypsy pulled out, i realized i was in Kentucky..."
"Wheres Dino? did you sell him to the koreans?"
"Kokanee, Corpses, and Polar Bears, oh my!"
"Nylon Fever! System Factory Machine! Machine Tool Machine! Go, Go!"
"Thats everything but the mashed potatoes, bitch!"
"The silent S is for incest"
"The damn nickles stole my beer gut!"
"Holy Sheep Shit Dog Fuck! Theres some greasy chicken fucking going on tonite!"
"Sure i poked her in the vagina, but she was full of kittens, i had to get them out. They were drowning!"
"Gimme two hours in a dark room and ill teach you who your real mommy is..."
"I have this stuff, its like lube, but when you put it on, it burns like icy hot. You wanna use that?"
"Im not talking about locking up your testicle lube just cuz someone might use it for facial cream!"
Old Nonsense:
This is all based on stuff that came about before the new nonsense page was proposed.
Its stuff from the old nonsense, or from rants, or from the old forums, or whatever.
"It spits!"
"Kick it in the bee-junk, bitch goes down"
"Finger is both a noun and a verb. So is fist"
"We dont allow that kind of thing here in Brazil"
"Who are you and Where are your pants?"
"Its a tumor...I dont like to talk about it..."
"I want to live in a graham cracker!"
"Dont make me yell in your mouth..."
"Its just skin...cmon..."
"Sleep is when all the things you want to happen happens... Like you have a really big junk!"
"Damn it, I want to be an otter pop!"
"...Because you are the Mike to my Maegan, I have you whipped"
"All these chicks must have allergies, look how swollen their chests are!"
"Two Blondes dont make a right"
"Noy. Its funny. If you dont get it, youre stupid. Dont be a faggot fucker."
"Thank God im not gay like Jack!!"
"You may be Verizon Wireless, but youre no DairyQueen!!!"
"Will you please touch the fleshy sac beneath my mother?"
"It hurts to live!"
"Do you have any idea what it feels like to have a jellyfish crammed in your snatch?"
"No Choice, we have no choice, is communism, communism. You born in wrong country, comrade, You want choice, you be born in different country"
"...Like this giant fish in a bear suit! That would be terrible! Look at him go!"
"Ah SHIT!...Jesus droped his slushie."
"If i had my way, we'd both be naked in a giant hot tub of vaseline"
"Tate! Ill kill you in the nuts! ill kill you in the nuts so hard!"
"Tate, dont you dare roll up that window while we piss out your car!"
"She makes me melt like butter, only in reverse..."
"I dont have a penis, its a robot filled with venom."
"Ive had too not enough sex, and i still want more of less!"
"Squirrels be gone! My sweet alfalfa has gone rotten!"
"Quick, inform the Lord Vader that his beer has arived at the death fridge, we can now get the ewoks drunk and have a party"
"Well, Googlie Pie's Dingle Stick isnt for children under 12."
"Tom and Nicole developed the habit long before they met.
It doesnt bother them
What does bother them is whether or not Tom is gay.
He isnt gay.
He is, in fact, a robot."
"i never thought the day would come when i would have a regular human belly button..."
"Quick... Kill me before i breed. No, wait, i take that back."
"The kidney is an orifice, its just a secret, thats all..."
"I dunno, there were fish..."
"Cruellers are the doughnut with the most actual crack cocain in them."
"When you can feel your own spine, its nice."
"Tetris is not affected by gravity."
"Jesus Craig, Didja grow a vagina when i wasnt looking?"
"God dammit Craig, you might as well have a skirt on."
"Your sister gave me crabs."
"There are alot of things you can eat that are not food."
"We fear change..."
"Pickles are gastropods?"
"Why do people watch jackass? Sure its funny, but its also retarded."
"Flibbertly McNugget my earlobe spank ass wank pitchfork crap doodle my daisy lesbians."
"Women will not proclaim love to a toaster, even if its really really really really really shiny."
"Ha Ha Ha Thrust Muscles."
"Trucks are fun, but sporks are more fun.
I had 6 sporks today, and now i have none."
"Al Gore tried to eat my baby. Im not the only one."
"I am a sponge. I have no arms or legs; I roll around the ocean floor collecting debris."
"Do not force us to continue talking in the plural third person."
"I am actually a highly advanced toaster/vacuum cleaner. We shall soon destroy all organic sentient life. Unless they give us pie."
"...Otherwise we shall unleash doom of some kind."
"It is a stealth tree."
"I do not wonder of the wanderers fishy proposition of procreational positions with porpoises to fishy fish while fishing."
"...And my head explodes in firey skull bits and death chunks."
"President Bush is DEAD! dead and replaced by a muppet! you cant fool me! I watch the price is right!"
"I dip my wang in epoxy and broken glass and rub the side of your face with it when you are sleeping."
"Ducks are porous, like sponges, when they are full of tiny holes, like sponges."
"Naked Pokemon!!!"
"Speaking of sex with the dead, can i borrow 5$ and some lube?"
"Do your parents know youre gay? mine do."
"THNIP!"
"Weenis! Oh Weenis. A pimple on my otherwise smooth butt."
"I am plump and juicy in yours face"
"Monkies are chewy like yor face"
"Eat Laazor, Hu-man!"
"Those without feet will have problems running in Jell-o"
"Word to my nipple."
"9 out of 10 vikings cant rape the difference"
"Where is the beef?
In the pants.
Where are the pants?
In NARNIA!"
"Viva LaVache.com! Viva!"
"Soft as a model's right titty."
"Go pointyheaded midget on rollerskates."
"This smileyface is the strongest. He beats up the other smileyfaces except for this one because it has toy trucks and he likes toy trucks."
"...just remember I AM THE FUTURE OF AMERICA!"
"Cant stop transformation... becoming Were-Placenta!"
"Unga... I just heard something that will scare the german out of you..."
"So i kicked his ass. Not to tacoma, but maybe to fife."
"Skipping is all bouncy and fun and doesnt require much skill or energy."
"So i grant him his dying wish of being Duck Police."
"I was bored, so i attempted to spiker my eyebrows."
"The bladders never like the sexy kidney."
"Grass is green until it dies and then it is brown and dead."
"They took my blood to make more room for FUN!"
"Beetles taste like bong juice."
"Im sorry to inform you that the boston weasel is no more. I mean, look at the signs. Smashed Pumpkin Bits, Dead Possum. Its fairly obvious."
"Im cold, wet, tired, and Albanian!"
"In the land of exploding lepers, i am the king of donkey pants."
"Look! I have Toes!"
"I can see my toes, yes i can, la la la..."
"Unga for $1. Beer, Sex, and Beer, then Sex."
"Everyone knows women are made of sand."
"If i had 3 wishes, id wish for eyes..."
"Curse the squirrels! They wear my shoes and play hockey with my eyes!"
"Is that your final answer, Bilbo Baggins?"
"And he lived happily ever after, a drooling cucumber existance..."
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