blather
what_to_do_with_emotion
-{::EphemeralArcs::}- small and distant Everything i do, anyone does, is either for an emotion or results in an emotion.
I've tried creation, but even it doesn't fill the gap left by they're parting any more. They rage through me and leave a spent shell behind, to be laughed at and exploited.
I'm really wondering if the end of the rope is even necessary. Besides, which direction was I climbing? I don't know anymore.

Rivalry mounts up and stands siteword.
The passing days, the trees concise and twisted spoke an ending story.
Hold rhapsody and song, and all skipping visions, tangled and aloof.

hmm. doubt if anyone even reads through this whole thing. maybe a few.

don't care anymore. -not again-
over, under, subsided and distant.
more adjectives. more self pity.
no more retainers for any freedom.

I guess the bottom lines is, If you don't know what you want from life,... you get confused, blustered, tired, and direction, your only salvation, becomes meaningless to you. core, core, from where it all stems.
at least i haven't written something like this before, even if it is self indulgent.
When all the public and faces are gone and it's I and the elements.. that's when Void comes in an evening gown to court me. Very few people realise thats where I really live. Aside from the kindness, the true understanding... all the shortcomings and long jumps and in between migrations from night. And that's when all that are left to me are a few means of communictation with myself. And words are the bridge that lay their backs happily as a bridge, and smile the whole while, looking at the sky inverted through reflections off the water. falsely looking away in the direction. inversion, reflection. messages hidden behind the sublime. I don't even really write much good on here. most of it is a conversation piece. maybe, i'll just stop. and then i'll only put my real efforts upon this, here. then, i wonder if anyone will extract a soul from it. I would hope so. But even being the one who created it, sometimes i have difficulty uncovering its meaning. maybe I'll look back at this incoherent brain and soul spattering and remember how far I've traveled since then. hope so. That's the only joy in eyes. But, I have to wait so long to be tested. even challenges are challenging to find, and dissapate as fine as spring mist.
hmm. lights are a long rebellion. I wonder where mine went, and who now it is guiding. 		020421
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spoons stuff it in a box and stomp on it 020421
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blown cherry I would have thought that perhaps a soul would be more evident when one wasn't trying...

What I mostly do with emotion is feel it.
Feel it 'til it almost drives me insane, and then I let it take me where ever it wants to go next.
Not that this is something I recommend. 		020422
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silentbob put it in tiny jars and keep them under my bed. every night i fall asleep and they haunt me and i wake up angry 020422
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unhinged bury it with healthy doses of good pot 020422
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misstree spit it out, step on it, walk away, and forget it.

or:

make a small incision on the top of your thigh. insert emotonal nugget. allow to heal. carry it with you everywhere, with every step, in a place that no one else will ever know.

either way will make you stronger. 		020422
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continuous ache Ephemeral Arcs:

i read the whole thing. and i never claim to understand anyone completely, but i think i know where you're coming from. hopefully you will be able to look back at this and think, wow, i've come so far. i think today is like my 'let's cheer everyone on blather up' day or something. i hope i don't annoy anyone with this. 		020423
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MollyCule Nicole -

I second that wholeheartedly. 		020423
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silentbob what does sex have to do with emotion 020423
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-{::EphemeralArcs::}- thank you so much continous ache. It really did make me feel better. And I think that perhaps blather could use a 'lets cheer everyone up day.'
though not too much, or it might become fake.
dellusion is always more comforting than illusion to me at least, even if it's more painful.
Thank you again. 		020423
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Sailor Jupiter Sing! I hate when people half heartedly put themselves into music. When I sing I try to put all I got into it even though I'm scared out of my mind when it's outside of church. Happy, or sad, music is in itself verbal emotion. 020423
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-{::ephemeral_arcs::}- It pents up inside of me, and theres this one narrow outlet of words...
It usually happens right before I go to sleep, wrapped there in the warmth of blankets, and the security of a day lived. I feel like I'm admitting defeat if the day ends now, I feel there's more I could do, be doing...
and the words blaring through the lullabies sting close to the days observations, and inside, it feels like fucking chaos, tingling and bursting before it's going to explode, but it never does. I know, that I DON"T know.. something. It's gone and there, waiting.
I'll write something like: outside.
but, after I write it, it becomes nothing more than a record of my history, and perhaps serve for fuel for the almost explosions within my chest before my eyelids back nightfall.
It's still lingering, the thought of the something that is the nothing within me. Until the weariness finally convinces my brain to shut down, I'm a servant to my emotions... ""
of course I can control them, but they're trying to tell me something, and I can't ignore that.

you brother and sister blatherskites, i know thee not well. You respond to blathes I never would've imagined you would, and leave ones I thought for sure you would blank.
timing in the universe just coincides with metaphore, i suppose.
what is tomorrow? I don't know.
"I don't want for anything I don't have... I need no reason for the first time in my life... All I want is waiting for me there"- Smashing Pumpkins, Czarina.
I know that something is inside of me, buried somewhere behind and under, or around.. or mixed all throughout, so I must collect the pieces of my desert landscape grain by grain, and then grow it into the mountain revere in my soul's mind.
I really don't know what to do with this emotion, but I think.. I'm addicted to it. 		020506
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Arwyn bottle it up and pray no one notices... 020506
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Daria I try to bottle it up, but I end up shakin' like an insane person.
I hafta scream.
Got any other Ideas? 		020506
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kill rhythm shove it up your ass 020506
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birdmad hide from it, knowing what harm it will cause 020506
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Daria Hide. good.
Thank you for the lovely advice.
*crys cuz her love doesn't love her back*
i'm ok 		020507
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reitoei put it in a little silver box, resting on soft cotton paddind. wrap many times with black ribbon and leave it in an unsuspecting mailbox 020507
what's it to you? blather
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