|
| |
walks_into_a_bar
|
|
|
dos
|
A three legged dog walks into a bar, orders a beer, and says, "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw."
|
070812
|
| |
... |
|
|
dos
|
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
|
070812
|
| |
... |
|
|
dos
|
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
|
070812
|
| |
... |
|
|
dos
|
A priest, a pedophile, and a hypocrite walk into a bar.
And that was just the first guy.
|
070812
|
| |
... |
|
|
dos
|
A string walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve strings in this bar."
The string goes out back, roughs himself up, twists himself into a pretzel, and walks back into the bar. The bartender says, "Aren't you the string I just threw out?"
The string says, "No. I'm a frayed knot."
|
070812
|
| |
... |
|
|
dos
|
A man walks into a bar with two gorgeous women and a foot tall midget. The guy orders a drink for himself, whips out a wad of 100's, and buys a round for the house.
The bartender sets up the drinks, but when he puts the drink down in front of the guy, the midget jumps up on the bar, kicks it over, cusses the guy out, and spits on the bartender.
The bartender says, "What the fuck?"
The guy sighs and says, "I found an old lamp and rubbed it. Whaddayaknow, out pops a genie who grants me 3 wishes. My first wish was to be rich forever. I can reach ino my pocket any time of day or night, and always pull out that wad of hundreds."
"My second wish was to always be surrounded by beautiful women. As you see, the lovliest of ladies accompany me wherever I go."
The bartender says, "Yeah, sure, but what about the midget with the attitude problem?"
"Ah, him," says the guy. "Well, for my third wish, I asked for a twelve inch dick."
|
070812
|
| |
... |
|
|
dos
|
How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar?
Three. One to remember how to get there, one to remember how the door works, and one to remember why they're going to a bar.
|
070812
|
| |
... |
|
|
dos
|
A dyslexic man walks into a bra...
|
070812
|
| |
... |
|
|
CONTENT
|
do you know what the word "dyslexic" means, it means that people name you for having a hidden secret, same as be called "autistic" really, people like to put you in a box because they are jealous that you are different.
|
070812
|
| |
... |
|
|
CONTENT
|
preplanned jokes are CRAP,
I have never remembered them and never laughed at them.
People don't trust their natural flow because at school you have to get at least 8/10 for a spelling test,
you see, it tightens you up and traps your natural humour, it stops you from breathing.
|
070812
|
| |
... |
|
|
dos
|
Point 1:
dys - unusual, difficult, or abnormal
lexic - of letters
dyslexic - difficulty with letters
Labels are not about "jealousy because you are different". They are about categorizing things with similar features to make discourse about said features more convenient. If you think labels are in any way personal, you're missing the entire point.
Point 2:
Of course these are all cliche and hyperbole. That was the point of cramming them all under this title. Of course they're not funny. These haven't been funny since the turn of the LAST century, if then. I was doing it merely because it had not yet been done.
|
070812
|
| |
... |
|
|
CONTENT
|
dos,
ok, fine, what has not yet been done ?
i don't seem to understand you at all ?
and i was only joking about the jealous thing !
it's just annoying why humans always want to put labels and categorise things, i know it is a form of understanding something, i was just kind or trying to look at things from a different angle thats all.
do you have a joke that comes out - you know like a flow... you must do.
|
070812
|
| |
... |
|
|
CONTENT
|
P.S. you're jokes aren't crap really, i was only pulling your leg.
sometimes people take me too seriously, i suppose thats the difference when you can't hear tone of voice.
|
070812
|
| |
... |
|
|
unhinged
|
write_more_loveletters
freaked out
frustrated
your smile calms me
you want to better yourself
got a long list of things to learn
you want me to better you
teach you everything i know
about what you want to know
not thinking a year later
we would be this close
i want to be closer
feel you next to me every night
a magnet
a flame
love me
and i'll teach you the word devotion
the chain of events that got us here
leads back to
the night i walked into that bar
you baited the hook with that smile
and i've tried to pretend i haven't been dangling
ever_since
|
070813
|
