| losing_feeling | ||
| chrysalid |
instead of raving and ranting and dying becuase he doesn't (love) me or some crap like that because it's the only thing in the world that matters I don't feel the pain and I rationalize it and see that emotions don't really matter and become cold, not caring (much) anymore, most of the time squash, jump on emotion and cast it away, kill it before it has a chance to hurt me again detaching myself from the world, pushing people away, becoming perfectly selfish in my own cocoon where I look out suspiciously, selfishly holding on to the first glimmerings of self-esteem and pretentiously spouting drivel about things I see once and inserting sporadic line breaks to make myself feel artistic and search for catharsis somewhere but make myself not need it anymore and the pain almost seems good becuase it'd at least be feeling but I could find the pain again if I wanted to so maybe it's time to find happiness again smile. |
040806 |