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THE MEDIA STEW
From the fringes of SF Gate, and then some...
Good Girls Belch The Alphabet
Federal statistics show 16-year-old girls are driving more recklessly and getting in more accidents, narrowing the gap with 16-year-old boys, long the most accident-prone drivers. For every 1,000 licensed 16-year-old girls, 175 got in car accidents in 2000. That's up 9 percent from 1990, when 160 girls crashed per 1,000 drivers. Accidents for 16-year-old boys decreased slightly during the same period, from 216 to 210 per 1,000 drivers. By way of balance, statistics show increasing numbers of young teenage boys are doing that horrible annoying inward-gum-snapping thing with their mouths and twirling their hair while watching reruns of "Sabrina the Teenage Witch." Girls have responded by learning to hock loogies and light their underwear on fire while still wearing it. The boys, not to be outdone, cry a lot for no apparent reason and complain that their legs are too fat and short. Girls say "dude" a lot and masturbate like, ten times a day. Boys share cherry lip gloss and squeal.
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Dude, I'm busy here.
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