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jane
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i woke up this morning very early - i knew it was too early because my eyes weren't awake enough to see the red numbers on the digital clock. i heard the rain pounding on the window in the living room, found it somewhat comforting, and fell back asleep. a couple hours later [i can only assume], i heard sarah on the phone with simon, the landlord's son, although we just call him the landlord because none of us ever see the actual owner. i stumbled out of bed & out into the foyer in time to see the bowls filled with brown water that had dripped from our decrepit ceiling. i peered into the kitchen to see that there, too, the ceiling had given way to the aqueous perpetrator.
this was not the first time this had happened.
another chronic deterioration that has been bothering me is the deterioration of my stomach lining due to hyperacidity. basically i'm pretty sure this is what is happening - an ulcer due to stress. this ulcer is a hole in my stomach lining due to the hydrochloric acid the stomach secretes as a part of the digestive process. i really don't know. all i know is that i'm sick all the time.
so today i drew the line between my stomach & our apartment & both of their unnecessary decomposition. sometimes i think its just slight nausea, sometimes its just a quick power shortage. sometimes the wall billows with water pockets & sometimes i have to stay in all day because i am too sick to move. so can the landlord call a contractor intelligent enough to fix the leaks, to fix the electricity, to fix the phone lines? do i need a medical doctor or a therapist, & could either help me overcome my anxiety/panic disorder/ulcer, if that's really what it is?
my body/apartment is a temple. until my temple is repaired, i will remain as broken as ever
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040908
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