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phil
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3:oo am Kwik Pik
Banned Access Radio Frequency (BARF):
"We have a Police Interogation Unit (PIU) coming upon the complex with a Swat Team Division (STD) following in the rear. Over."
Agent Stoned slips past the heavily guarded Microwave Burrito and Jelly Donut Truck, the circumcised Snow Leapords and three prong radar a dead give away of police surveilance, giving up her quest for the Holy Snickers Ice Cream Bar God told her would be there.
Agent Stoned heads over to get a taco and teleport to the Vatican, to get it blessed by Jon the Baptist in the Pope's time machine.
All hope is not lost...
3:15 am The Vatican
Passing through the steamy bath house, flush with hairy greek men, Agent Stoned finds the Pope in a dramatic portrait pose near the window. Behind him Van Gho's dark night sky and majestic mountains. Explaining her quest the Pope radiates a chastised, but willing look.
The Pope tries his closet door, but alas the teleporter appears stuck closed, and the Pope has no such lube. Agent Stoned's time is not running out however, but that taco sure is getting drippy.
Reacting to a deep sense of need The Pope (His Holiness) calls forth his teenage roommate P.Jesus, to bless the taco; his encounters with other worldly shit clearly giving him [her?] the magical powers.
Crunching into the salvating taco her taste buds flooded with the aroma of greasy taco stink, the Pope, Agent Stoned, and P.Jesus are spotted on radar. P.Jesus, in a state of weak paralysis, lies on his back.
Busted once again by the hovering Helicopper, the Pope covers his lewd oily form with his olive dappled drapery. Agent Stoned reacts quickly, rolling up a fattie and suppressing a choke reflex provided the momentary cover for their sewery escape.
Aqueducts
6:30 A.M.
After the tragic loss of P.Jesus to the MFA, The Pope, and His secret weapon, along with Agent Stoned, shimmy their way down the main drag of the sewers. A host to many dispicable criminal idiots.
Using a phone booth the Pope accepts his charges and sends a long distance message to the other end. Within minutes they can be beamed on board the Elvis SG-None, but they'll have to access the surface to celluport.
Latent tracers mesmerize Agent Stoned as they approach Candy King intercom. The Pope squirts 78c worth into the all night stand, and the order goes back to the flippers to cook up a Sugar Caesar Sandwich with Cinnamon Anchovies and a Soup Pizza.
Realizing what a waste of time it has become Agent Stoned presses H.H. to forget about his sandwich and hurry up.
Scurrying up the inconsistent spiraling staircase Agent Stoned slips and falls over what she thought was a hallucination, a garbage bag full of raw potatoes. She ponders it momentarily searching for it's signifigance, looking up Agent Stoned sees no exit or any other clear way the potatoes arrived, then she notices below a Sewer Patrol Unit (SPU) forcing their way up the stairs, pushing one another aside as they gain the lead.
Grabbing hold of the Pope's long robes Agent Stoned slides her way down under the unit, notices a small hole in their rear, and takes full advantage of the inexperienced group.
The Pope, instinstivly withdraws, reaching the surface first, he radios for the celluportation to send him up.
Half a minute later Agent Stoned arrives, with the sack of potatoes, waiting to get contacted.
to be continued...
next episode : Stabbed in the Back
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030415
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