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paste!
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3-28-01
CHOOSY BIRDS CHOOSE NECTAR
The puzzle of the month club
can’t figure out when their meetings convene.
Even the newsletters are ambiguous;
The next meeting is on 01-01-02…what the hell does that mean?
February 1st or January 2nd?
Do we have to wait till new years, again?
We’ve tried to contact
the secretary of the club
but his radiator is not under control.
This is the message on his voice mail, verbatim:
“You’ve reached Marco and the radiator is not under control.”
He won’t return our calls.
We’re just gonna cave in and buy 51% of the market
share of donkeys, despite, and yes, we’ve fully considered
the ramifications, the terror it will reek on certain
South American tour guides.
They’ll have to forfeit and be resourceful.
They’ll find new ways to navigate.
That is absurd. And what about Marco?
We need to know when the meetings convene.
This is essential to the mission of the missionaries
acting on behalf of the conquistadors of the previous conquest.
Don’t you dare ask another fucking question.
Next time, instead of asking questions, over and over again
big-shot investigator
imagine that your eyes
are two identical hummingbird nests,
sloppily constructed because Aunt Fergie
put a fifth of gin in the birdfeeder.
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