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stork daddy
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what they called it that night, so dark and hard to remember. a grimacing face, a pain that came and went away, forgotten in the motion. concentrating on a purer existence, moving without fear, and they took it away from me, judged me unfit to continue. they snapped their fingers in front of a buddha, who cared no more about winning or losing, they flashed their penlights in my eyes, and when they saw such stillness at the center of my pupils, they pulled me away in a rush of towels and waving arms, they pulled me away from other people's fury. after that night, all of my friends have seemed judges waiting to throw their arms and pull me away, tell me i've had more than i can take, that my fight isn't good enough. Tell me it isn't good enough, everything i've got. They pretend it's about their own compassion. They talk to me about other days, and new memories, but my eyes barely tilt open and they blur into the skyline, an undifferentiated fury that i move through.
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021221
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