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somebody's_sadness
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somebody
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Parts of life I like, but I am tired. Little excites me. Most days I spend looking forward to sleep. Eating is a monotonous chore bordering on nuisance because of intermittent hemorrhoids. I can't seem to get the sex I want. Others only enjoy my company when I dumb myself down. I don't have friends who share my interests and those who share my interests I have trouble befriending. The technological future bores me. I'm too skeptical to trust science or religion and do not trust the interpretations of anyone I've ever met. Games no longer please me. My idea of fun does not match anyone else's. There are people that I love but I am not a significant part of their lives, or perhaps they are not a significant part of mine. I do not care much about anything anymore. I am uninterested in almost everything. All day I wait to sleep. I am angry when I awake. I have an extreme IQ score and get lots of attention because of my looks but they are mixed blessings. I like myself and I like other people but my efforts to make meaningful contributions have proved futile and the forces of society corral me into meaningless busywork. I just want to sleep for a long time. I don't want to do this anymore. I feel like a sad kid and I just want to go home but there's not one to go to and there's nowhere to build a house anymore. I am tired of people's kneejerk optimism when I try and explain myself. I'm tired of this. I don't want to be tired of life but I am. I don't want to do this anymore.
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091024
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In_Bloom
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@somebody
When reason, logic, attention and love aren't touching you anymore, when it's just a sensation of pressure then you've outmaneuvered yourself. You are past your ability to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, no matter what tools and skills you've got. Reach out further and accept help, even chemical help but do it quickly before you crash too hard. Get yourself through, make a lateral move and still win your big picture. No thing lasts forever, goes for funks, too.
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091024
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hsg
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What's your idea of fun.
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091025
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hsg
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^^^ ?
(apparently mine's incorrect grammar!)
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091025
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Sympathete
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For what it's worth - maybe not much - I feel the same way about some stuff. Like, life COULD be so awesome, but much of the time it isn't, and often times there's really not alot you can do other than wait. Some people will blow lots of sunshine up your ass just when you least need it. Then later when your enthusiastic about something they're the ones sending you rainclouds, or they just don't care. And also I know how you feel about the eating thing, man it gets old. Although sometimes food is very tasty. All in all though, the pros and cons balance out. Although maybe this is what you are hating? Sometimes too much balance is a bad thing. Anyway I hope some good stuff comes your way and doesn't get balanced out by some bad stuff, I know life can do a real number on our minds but we can always dream up a better mindscape and withdraw further into ourselves! Wawawaw! Plotinus would be proud.
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091026
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Lemon_Soda
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This hit home. I think its depression.
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091026
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