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wasted_my_time
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They call me Truth
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I wasted my time trading my worth for the worth of others, putting them first, giving them my time and my efforts. I wasted my time being there, always being there, always willing to listen, to soothe, to offer advice.
I wasted my time falling in love, giving my heart and soul, giving my all, only to get stepped on and walked over and replaced and tossed to the side for someone or something else. I wasted my time loving, while never recieving the same, never having someone truly there and devoted to me the way I was to them.
I wasted my time being everyone's friend, the best guy a girl ever met, the best lover, the best supporter, the best boyfriend...I wasted it all, between everything and nothing...and even more now...I waste. I wasted my tears. I wasted my time being depressed and worn out and tired of all the bullshit. I wasted my time forgiving, only to be met with nothing...only to be left with nothing. And even now, I am wasting my time, writing this, etching my frustration and my annoyance into a blank page, burning them into outward existence, but if I didn't write this, I would be wasting my time keeping it a secret.
I wasted my time...and I have nothing to show for it other than a lot of emptiness and bitterness and coldness that seems like it is ready to consume me. If it does consume me, if I am cast into a void of endless vacancy, then, perhaps, I won't have to waste my energies in this meaningless circus that the world has become.
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081025
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In_Bloom
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"...etching my frustration and my annoyance into a blank page, burning them into outward existence..."
BURNING THEM INTO OUTWARD EXISTENCE
You have polished a facet on pure human commonality.
It's polished- no longer a chunk of carbon
You've burned it into a gem clear enough to see into but tough enough to still pain
You really did Truth it up
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081025
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amy being uncommonly amy
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one time, i found a pamphet from Tiffany's about the standards for a Tiffany diamond. it was outside a church where the homeless kids hung out. i kept it with me for a charm for quite awhile, got a big old cosmic "refund" on it last christmas, and was finally able to throw it out.
we all waste our time. love is forever unrequited, and if you think it's not, you must some kind of cool. too cool for ye olde love school. cry it out, pick yourself up off that last paragraph and begin again. this world's just sorrily not that good enough. i could start crying about it myself.
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081026
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They call me Truth
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I've said those very things so many times (except the world is not good enough part)but this time willful optimism is taking a little while to really kick in...but cheers...its never as serious as the words on the page...
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081026
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In_Bloom
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You're right, this world is too good to part with and everytime I've laid down and wished not to wake up, something beautiful happens to make me think I was crazy for having doubted it
The doubt creeps up when Time isn't putting out to love up Optimism- yep
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081027
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They call me Truth
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I am up again...I always denounce a thing before I rediscover it more powerfully and more intimately. I think it is necessary for growth.
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081110
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