my_letter_to


	my_letter_to_you
poetic_onslaught	wus up dawg. i know you have no idea about this website and your eyes will probably never meet these words but i got some things to say. im drinking again. that seems to be the only time i have the balls to get sentimental. i have that excuse to write this letter. i called you earlier from a calling card that my mom gave me. well actually yesterday since its now 3:00 in the morning. remember when we would be on the phone all night until i heard you snoring? we would talk about how things were in the hood and about how we wanted things to be. we would just talk on and on until you got so sleepy that you would start having delusions. i remember one time you thought i was a bug and you were trying to spray me with some stuff to get rid of me. and another time you thought i was made of clay and you were making an ashtray out of me. you dont remember because i guess you were asleep, but i understood this from a few words that you spoke while you were having these delusions. i have so much to say but i just dont know the words so try to bear with me. i guess the main thing that im trying to say is that i miss you dawg. remember when you were claiming southside? then you met me and you started claiming northside, since northside was all i kicked it with. then when you decided that you wanted to stick with southside, everyone was calling you a flipflop. those were the good times huh? you were the only homie i had left in the end. until this day your still the only true homie i got. even though you piss me off at times. i guess i just matured to the point where i realized that friends like you are hard to find. you were there when i started getting really deep into the gangsta life and your still here now. the main reason your still here is because i luv you and i forgave you everytime you fucked up. but im sure you wouldve forgave me too. im not trying to say that your a fuck up or a bad friend, actually your the closest person to me not counting my mom. i luv you dawg. i miss the way things used to be but nothing lasts forever right? i seemed to accept that yesterday when i was listening to I Aint Mad At You by Tupac. i c that as a sign of maturity on my part. before, i couldnt even think about the past without getting pissed off. im finally accepting it as it is. its about time, after all those years of depression and mental instability. damn, i think im too drunk to say explain exactly whats on my mind. well i guess im out for now but ill probably be back again to reform this letter and add new comments. so alrato homeboy. holla (but i guess you wont holla back since you dont know about this website huh?)	020621
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poetic_onslaught	hey girl. what chu been up to? ive just been here kickin it, missin you. i called you yesterday from a calling card but you brother told me that you out of town. thats too bad. i miss and i want to talk to you. i know you know about this website, your the only person ive ever told about this place actually. but you probably cant get on here since your parents put you on that childs thing. i just wanna make it clear that if things dont maked since, its because im drunk. anywayz, so whatcu been up to? i told you about this website so y havent you written on here? you used to just get on here to see what i would write. i got that e-mail that you sent me from you cell phone. im just not sure if you got the e=mail i sent to you cell phone. i hope you can get on here again and read this. i love you and dont forget it. your the only person that i can get goofy with and not regret it. being who i am i always had a reputation to uphold, so if people found out that i could be goofy they wouldnt respect me as much. your the only person that i could let got with and feel comfortable with no matter how stupid i got. i told you all sorts of shit about myself. i guess i felt comfortable with you because you were equally as stupid if not more stupid than I and you werent very popular. i mean that as a compliment. the popular people always seem to go by the rules of the behavior their supposed to uphold. their too self-concious and cant really think for them selves, even though they might think that they are thinking for themselves. actually they are thinking for themselves because thats the only life they really know, but anywayz that irrelevant to this letter. by being stupid i dont actually mean being stupid, i mean goofy. i just didnt give a fuck with you and i could be as goofy as i wanted to be. for that i love you. i could never be like that with somone popular. im realizing that being popular isnt actually cool. it might be cool at the time but not in the long run. at least thats how it was with me. i love you for letting me be goofy at a time when things were so serious for me. i love you for helping me be goofy when my mind state was serious and unhealthy. i need to talk to you again. i miss you. please holla back some way or another. i love you homie, sincerely, your friend......Me (you know who Iam.)	020621
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poetic_onslaught	You. aww damn. i thought i loved you at once. now im not sure if i will ever even talk to you again. why did you have to be so judgemental? i bet you didnt even know that you were so judgemental did you? you were to vain to accept that you were ever wrong. i got something to tell you that would piss you off. you dont look that good. your not as good looking as you think you are. this would piss you off so much because i know that you think you are fine. But your not. i mean, your okay buy your not beuatiful. your barely even okay. lose some weight and you might look better. i did love you. i loved you because you were the only person that i could ever carry an intelligent conversation with when everyone else seemed like airheads or couldnt understand me. what fucked it up for you is that you got concieted and thought you knew everything. after a while you didnt know half of what i was going through even though you thought that you did. thats what fucked it up for you. we hooked up and broke up with each other several times. you were like one of my best friends and a person i could depend on. i remember when we were practicing for that quinceniera and you were my dama. my birthday came along during one of the day that we were practicing and you had bought me a birthday cake. you had the chambalones and damas sing happy birthday to me after we finished practicing for that quince. i blushed and tried to tell you not to have them sing to me. that was one of the nicest things, if not THE nicest thing a friend has ever done for me. i felt close to you and i loved you, no matter how many times we broke up. you started fucking up when you thought you were smarter than me and thought that you knew everything. i wish things were different. in the end, you didnt know much of anything and you just ruined everything that we had. its so sad that such beautiful thing that we had was wasted because of your vanity, but im used to beautiful things coming to an end. i guess, in the end this is a goodbye letter, i just couldnt confront you with it. we will be like many other relationships that just ended suddenly without any apparent reason. i havent talked to you in months but i will never forget you. its so sad that things had to end as they did, but i wish you a happy life. i hope you learn to be a bit more humble. no one knows everything and your vanity is disturbing what you think you know. i just hope you realize this so you can have a happy life, because i do treasure what we once had. i hope you have a happy life with your current boyfriend and i hope that yall find that apartment that you told me about about, months ago. we might talk again but it will never be the same as long as you think you know everything. i just wanna let you know that i love you for what you did know. bye, and i love you. your homie......Me	020621
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poetic_onslaught	im realizing how many close people ive actually had in my life. so far ive written to 3 people and now im on my fourth. i wish these people could read these letters. maybe all things are just more interesting when its a mystery though. fortunately this website isnt very popular so the only people that i know that will read this will more than likely be the people that i inform about this website. this letter is to you, my one true love. i thought i was in love with you, then i thought it was just infatuation and now i think im in love again, even though i havent talked to you in over a year. we went through so many things that i cant even remember the specifics anymore. remember when we first hooked up? the first time i met you was at church. i was high as hell with the homeboys. i remember the preacher asking me why my eyes were red. you said that that was the first time that you had seen me. i had hollered at chu and got your phone number. we had hooked up for a while. a few weeks after we hooked up i saw your best friend at the skating ring. she was beuatiful to me. we broke up. about a week after we broke up i hooked up with your best homegirl. you didnt really care since we just went out for about a week or half a month. unfortunately, i just went out with your homegirl for one day. the next i had played her with someone else and she found out and broke with me. i didnt really care. about another week after that me and you got back together. this time we together for about a month. i thought i was in love. unfortunately, at that time i also thought i was in love with your best homegirl. one week, you went out of town. you wrote me a letter before you left which i still have till this day. while you were gone, i hit on your best your homegirl. when you got back you found out about it and broke up with me. i was sad but it wasnt that big of a deal for me. i tried to get with you best homegirl afterward but she seemed to have more respect for you than i thought. i had finally convinced her to get with me. she called you to let you know that we were gonna get together and you started crying. she called me back, crying, and let me know that it wasnt gonna work out because you still had feelings for me. i remember talking to you after we broke and you told me that you had to break up with your other boyfriend because you kept envisioning me when yall kissed. i remember one time one your homegirls had called at like 2:00 in the morning to tell me that you needed to talk to me. you were drunk and wanted to tell me that you loved me, even though you were already with someone else that you were engaged too. remember when i saw you at that other girl's quince? you saw me and and we just stared at each other for a while but you told your homegirl, the quinceniera, that you just saw me and looked away. i guess i hurt you pretty bad by trying to play you with your best homegirl. i know you loved me. you told me on plenty occasions. i remember when i made you cry when you thought that i messed with that same hoe on you birthday, at your birthday party. we went through so many other things that i wont mention on this letter. i just wanna let you know that i dont think i ever got over you (even though you might never read this letter i just had to express it.) until this day i think that your the only person that i ever was in love (even though we were together years ago). it started with infatuation and i still cant let you go. what goes around comes around right? i guess this is what i get for being such a player. everyone knows i was one helluva player. i just wanted to get it off my chest that i still love you and i dont think ill ever get over you. i hope i see you again and that we're the soulmates i once thought we were.	020621
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poetic_onslaught	You. damn, your the second most important person in my life (besides the first person i wrote to). you probably deserve the most important, but now that i think about it, your okay in second. i first met you at that southside hoe's party. i got into so much drama because of that bitch, but thats another story. she threw this party during the summer. you saw me but i didnt see you. one of my homeboys knew you and he called me on 3-way with you. when he mentioned my name, you recongized it and realized that it was me at that party. you told me that you thought i was good looking. i didnt pay much attention to what you said. at the beggining of that school year you saw me again. you stuck to me like glue. you were at my locker even before i was. eventually, everyone in the school thought that were going out. but we werent. i didnt even find you attractive. you met me at a time in my life that i was insecure so i let you stick to me. girls were afraid to talk to me after that because you would talk shit to them and they were scared of you. you fucked up my game. so much shit happened with me and you that its impossible to explain it all in this letter. i remember all these girls coming up to me asking me if i was going out with you. you were tagging up the restrooms and the whole school with '**** loves Tavo'. everyone thought that you were my girlfriend even though you werent. i cant even begin to describe you in this letter because i feel so many things toward you. i wont beging to explain everything. i wish people could see thing through my eyes. what matters is that now i love you. you were always there when i needed you and your still there until this day. i guess im just going to leave it at that. im sure you'd know who you are if you read this letter. i love you. forever yours,......Me.	020621
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poetic_onslaught	everyone only wants to be heard and wont really listen. ive spoke now and maybe someday ill show these people these letters. but maybe not. either way it feels good to get this off my chest, even though there is so so much more to be told. the only way to explain it all is through a book. the question is if anyone will actually wanna read it. like i said, everyone just wants to be heard. so i guess ill end this now. ill more than likely just be another unheard voice. there's no way to end this letter without feeling like i still havent got my point across, because i know i havent got my point across. everyone only cares to be heard, not many care to listen. so i guess ill just finish this letter as it is. much love to yall that had the patience read, but no offense to those of you that decided not to read it. well, i guess thats it. i cant finish this satisfied. BYE	020621
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poetic_onslaught	lol, goddamn im fuckin pathetic. I didnt even have the patience to read that shit. i hate expressing myself when im drunk, but it seems like a good idea to me when iam drunk. i always feel fuckin stupid after getting sentimental. i feel stupid right now just writing this to explain my actions. NO ONE GIVES A FUCK. i cant believe i havent accepted that by now. damn i get on my nerves	020626
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Kate	can I join your page? you appear brilliantly insightful. I hope that you truly are. Dear Jon, You are a swirling mass of beautiful characteristics. This is my tribute to you. You scrunch and rescrunch your tanned toes in the glow of a white Yankee candle you speak impetuously and attribute it to a family tradition. you feel and think you used to run competively and you are athletic. you play singles tennis. you love knowledge and seek to gain wisdom. you love the French Revolution, too. you smile back when I smile at you when you have said something noble in my opinion your memory is inpeccable and you don't take notes. you are tan and well-built and softly attractive. you play guitar, sing for fun, and join in on our Green Day sing-alongs. you show your braces when you smile. you admit to talking to the spirituality that you have within you. you did not shrink back when I accidentally touched your hand at the lunch table with Dr. Tiel. you always wear your brown sandals but remove them whenever possible. you have been a stoic for two days longer than I have. you love physics but you also love life and playing one-on-one basketball games. you are a feeling boy and you are my friend.	020626
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Kate	Dear Jon, Six hours later, I am continually learning more about you. You have tickets to the Weezer concert that I want to go to at Blossom but you are going to stoically deny yourself the pleasure. You think that Beethoven's 3rd sympony is risky. Your favourite poker game in Anaconda. You wear jeans like Austin, but they are a little too short on you. You believe in physical relationships were the physical doesn't control. You are a Libertarian too. A Tale of Two Cities is your second favourite book. Your first is Dr. Zhivago. You love Audrey Hepburn and Breakfast at Tiffany's. Me too. Your almost perfection makes me want to touch your hand unaccidentally.	020626
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Tavos angle	this letter goes out to you Tavo. you already know how much you mean to me but somethings it seems like you don't even care. I know you do but sometimes it pisses me off because you let other chicks get between us. I've known you forever and i don't wanna lose you to any hoe that you think knows how you are and feels. To be honest I don't think that they can ever love you the way that I do. I care about you so much. I wish that you understood how I feel but I guess it's hard b/c you already know how I am and that I don't really show my feelsing to ne one that I care about. I keep everything inside b/c i'm afraid to get hurt. I mean after TJ everything went down hill and I honestly don't wanna get hurt like that again, but i guess since I love you so much and I really can't hind it I fingured that I'll just let you know and risk getting hurt again. I don't think that you'll ever hurt me like that but I didn't think that TJ would either. Well I just want you to know that I love you and that your the only person I can trust and be myself around. love you alwayz.....ur homie....ME	020825
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the_dog_that_means_well_;-)	oh shit i didnt expect this. you should write on here more often. i would love to see your thoughts on the screen. its usually easier to express yourself on a leter than in person. so im gonna write back to you on here and hope that you take blather up as a hobby. i like the name you used too....but you spelled angel wrong...lol. well at least you remembered how i think of you as my angel. lately you've been trippin and i thought i lost you. ive been calling and you dont answer or return my calls. why wont you tell me whats been bothering you? its because of that girl that ive been talking to isnt it? obviously since you mentioned something about me letting girls come in between us. what ever made you think that she would take your place? ive only been talking to her for a few weeks and only seen her once. but you wouldnt know that i saw her this weekend because you've been avoiding me. ive been questioning our relationship ever since you started trippin. what is the nature of our relationship? im sorry but the only reason i can think of you getting mad for is if you want us to be more than friends. im sorry if im being too forward with this but i need to know wus up to make it better. is that why you've been getting mad? if its not then let me know the reason, no other reasons seem to make any sence to me. i supported you when you were having problems with your boyfriend and never felt that he was taking you from me no matter how much you talked about him. or maybe i should have felt that? let me know wus up	020825
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LIL CHRIS	It's been awhile since I've sat down and written on here but I decided to write you back (Tavo). I know more than likely you won't read this b/c we're not even that close ne more. I guess you can say we're stangers now. I miss the way we were we seemed so tight and it also seemed like nothing can get between us but I guess things change huh. To be honest with you at first I did wanna be more than friends but that changed so quickly. I guess that's y i've been trippin.....as for u I don't really know y u've been trippin. Lately you've just been an azz to me and I hate it. Y u all of a sudden turned on me I don't know but I would like to. There really is no point to this letter but to say bye and that it was nice knowing ya.	020913
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girl_jane	will never be sent...	020913