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misstree
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so many little pieces of nights are missing, i've almost gotten used to it. but when the whole thing disappears, especially when i hear the most interesting stories the next day, i really feel the loss.
one such was at a swordfighting event, the last one i went to. caesar and i were drinking vodka with a little redbull in quite a quantity, and the last thing i remember for a good number of hours was walking away from the gladiator pit. apparently i beat the hell out of markus and then verbally outmaneuvered a wolfpacker, but that's another_story somewhere in these pages.
last night was another one, and gawd_damn do i wish i remembered it.
for the first time, i actually managed to go out to a bar with the dude i'm staying with. karaoke bar, fairly chill. i had two beers before we went, then two drinks and a shot of 151.
it was the 151 that turned the lights out. apparently, on the walk home, i took off my belt and was beating both my roomie and the other gent that had gone with us. when we got back, we were standing outside with a bunch of people, and the roomie started kissing on me, and i was enjoying it (especially after fasting from sex for a little bit). not sure if there were any provocation, but i started choking roomiedood. not going after the face, thankfully, which means that i was tussling and not fighting, but he does have some impressive scrapes today. i left my mark again. he calmed me down or somesuch, and had me by the back of the hair, and shoved me down to suck his cock. which i promptly bit. again, apparently not with the vigor that i could have, as there was no real damage sustained, but enough to play. i've been needing play. it doesn't surprise me that the aggro came out when drunk, but again happiness that it was play and not damage.
anyhow, he got my arms behind my back and threw me down on the bed, and started trying to go at it with me while i resisted. no, it's not rape, not even if i was that drunk, in this case anyway, 's all good. after trying for a little bit, i puked, then passed out.
i woke up this morning wearing my boots, running late for work, wondering how i'd gotten home, with nothing but a gap there. and the stories start to float in. and i see the marks on roomie's neck. and i got to play. i got to let it all loose. and i don't even farging remember it. what a cheat. but at least some part of my brain obviously enjoyed it. i'm much calmer today. and i woke up both drunk and hung over. yee_haw.
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050822
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