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stork daddy
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Your farewell note was my introduction to you. Would that you return. I've taken the time to compile what little word I have received from you. I'm the only one who knows even generally your whereabouts.
I. We do not blame roads and rainstorms. They live in a purer world of cause and effect. All of the stuff I like about poems, before the usually moralistic end line.
II. I'm going to step out for a while. Just start driving from home. Those doors I passed everyday on my way to work, they're becoming more real the more I think about it. Everything is more plausible. My word in a life: wow. Even if they hold more of the same, just for something to come of nothing like that. For a key to them to be intention and not some grace we have no say over.
III. In every decadent wallowing I allowed myself, and during all of my mistakes, I had a recurring fear. What if I was already where I felt headed for? What if I was in the throes of madness, confined and babbling in reality somewhere, while I constantly replayed the life that brought me there in my head?
IV. You were right you know, my CD did only skip when I made left turns. I didn't have any faith in you. Ha, you laughed, like a movie star, "I have truth on my side." "So did Socrates was my grim reply." I should've known then.
V. I got your call. I don't know how you got my number. But I don't buy that buddy christ stuff on tv. I always hated the born agains and reformed drunks who pretended after their redemption, none of what they were before matters. You are always everything you've done.
VI. I guess the best you can hope for is that you can say, one more time, "to be continued..." and wait to see if it still holds some suspense. I'm thinking of coming home.
VII. When I come home, I think most won't recognize me. I may be now a closed door they pass on their way to what is theirs. The thoughts of what could have been and still could be are still near infinite. I remember that feeling.
VIII. At the end of the day, the wow was all in my head. Always will be. Not all of it, but a lot of it. The second you go somewhere you're leaving somewhere else. No matter where. Go to the place with more questions, or more answers. They're the same with the right turn of the mind.
IX. I'm coming home. Or more accurately, I'm leaving here. They only saw one side of me, now they've seen the other. You've only seen that side of me, now you can see the other.
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